A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi im having this huge problem with my bofriend i really need an advice please do not tell me to leave him bcuz i wont sorry is the im deeply in love with this guy who we been goin out for 6 month now may 29th 2009 we made the 6 month well everything was great that night he even intruduced me to hes parents he took me to dinner nd to the mall to buy me a teddy bear in build a bear well he told me he loves me everything was great we even had intercorse the day hes the kind of guy that when hes gonna break up with a girl he will tell her that he wont have sex with her ok , so the next day he goes to my house nd im here with my mom ,my sis nd him so out of no where we started arguin so he got mad and left the house he told me you always fighting im tired of that he was about to break up with me that day but he didnt because my mom was like please dont so he left and he calls me at night and said listen i will not have sex with u anymore so i got the msg that he wanted to break up with me yuppp after that he changed with no calls no kiss nothing he was backing up from me so one day he was about to break up but he didnt then i didnt txt him for a day nd at night after a week he says (babygirl i want to work things out with u )so i say yes we get back together go out at night have a great time kissing me out to the movies the next day he says i love you to me but then on monday i see him with his ex walking he didnt even talk to me the day he changed again no contact after that he calls my best friend a guy and tells him that hes confused and doesnt know if he loves me so after 2 days me and him broke up then after 2 days we got back because he said he wants to try but he felt sorry for me i know so the day we got back together he treated me like an angle nice we make out for hours then the next day he treats me like w,e then the same day at night he comes to my house we make out again we were in his car and were about to do it but noo i stoped but i did something else to him so the next day he calls my best friend again and tells him the he doesnt know what he wanst but that he had a good time with me and what i did to him that night left him gasp and thinking cuz it felt goood but then that day he went away for the weeken and he i was like can u come see me to say bye and he said noo and click on me never called me back i called him 3 times and txt it him 4 times and never repply im worried that he might leave me again i really love him you could tell im really in love with him because im sooo sad i really need help i dont know anything from him for about 2 and half day he doesnt call me or anything i really dont know what to do please you think he doesnt call me because right now he needs space to think about stuff???? you think even though he doesnt love me he would at least think bout me and miss me ??? i hope he does guys i just want to save my relationship please help i know is long but pleasee answer me please i just need an adivce i odnbt know what to do
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Are you texting this on your phone? All the run on sentences make it tough to read your post, however, I will do my best.
I am guessing that you are 18 or younger, you are living at home with your mom and you are sexually active with this boy and been seeing him for 6 months.
You say you really love him and possibly you do, but I think you have a lot of emotions from having sex that you are a little overwhelmed by due mostly to your inexperience with sexual relationships and your young age.
You are desperately clinging to a boy who is backing away from you like a crab.
So what you can do is give him space and stop contacting him, if he calls you then talk to him if you want to, but he is not being nice or respectful to you hanging up on you and talking to your friend about you behind your back.
He sounds like a teenage boy who is not about to be a great boyfriend to you, he sounds pretty immature and is probably not able to handle the whole sex thing either.
He likes having sex with you, but I think he is loosing respect for you as well. I know in todays world teenagers
have a lot of peer pressure on them to be sexual without commitment and marriage, but it causes problems, all kinds of relationship and health problems as well as unwanted pregnancies, so I hope if you are sexually active that you are taking the birth control pill and not relying on condoms, condoms break.
Unfortuneatley guys at this age make terrible boyfriends, they have sexual hang ups and they use girls for sex sometimesi without even admitting this to themselves, they say they love you without meaning it, anything to get sex because their hormones are raging and so are yours.
I wish that you had waited to have sex with a fiance or waited until you were older, but that is not what happened, so now you are going to have to deal with the hurt and rejection that comes from giving so much of yourself away to just a boy who is your boyfriend...who may not be up for the job and may actually have lost respect for you for giving it up to him the way you did.
It is unfair, but that is what happens a lot at this age or any age. Men want their girlfriends to make them wait, they respect you more, trust you more and value you more, they don't want you to know that but that is the way most but not all men think.
I am sorry you're feeling so hurt and bad, but chasing after him is not going to help you. Don't let him disrespect you like this. Reward his bad behavior with distance, stay away from him and make him apologize for being such a jerk before he even gets the pleasure of your company. Stop giving him oral sex (that is what you were referring to, right?) you don't have to "service" him to keep him interested in you. Actually, stop having sex with him at all, you need to back up here and be friends first if that is still possible. He sounds to me though that he has lost respect and he doesn't want to see you any more. I say good riddance he isn't treating you very nicely, but I know that doesn't make you feel very good to hear that, I am sorry.
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