A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a 40 year old mother of 1 6 year old (girl)... I am 58... we have a great time together, seldom as it is... we met last year... I left her for florida for 5 months, came back and called her.Her schedule is crazy, work, child, etc... as a consequence we dont get together very often.she doesnt seem to make an effort, returns my calls maybe 2 days later, texts about the same. What can I do? She is very tardy when we do get together, kind of annoying. Oh yea, the sex is out of this world, I am very attracted to her.. how should I handle it? I need a steady, not getting any younger!I do keep looking....
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 September 2009):
 For her, you're not a necessity. Her child and her job come first, as they should. If you want to go from luxury to necessity, you're going to have to become an asset, not a time liability for her. She doesn't need another demand on her time, she needs support and help with the little time she has.
Figure out what she needs help with; chauffeuring the girl home from school, putting groceries in the fridge, mowing the lawn. Only do those things if you are serious about a steady relationship with her, though.
That all being said, if she's showing up late for dates, figure out why. Poor time management? Wishful thinking? ("I can get all this done before I have to shower and have dinner with him!") She's not that into you? It may be a habitual thing with her and then you are going to have to decide if you can live with that, because that is just an approach to life (rude as it is) that some people cannot change without major effort.
Don't stop looking, but give her a chance if you really do care about her.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 September 2009):
 I vote for keep looking.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (16 September 2009):
Well if you know what you want then why settle?
If you want someone steady and reliable, then find that person.
Sex is important but it should be the icing on the cake, not the main ingredient in your relationship.
My advice is to keep looking.
Good Luck!! xx
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