A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im a sophomore in college, and I just dont get why guys arent into me in "that" way. Well, I sort of do. Im fairly certain its not my looks as guys have liked me/I do get hit on randomly. I have a really low image of myself (probably because of my insecure mother) and have a hard time opening up (probably because of my unemotional father/my religion growing up discouraged talking about problems). Im naturally very quiet am am pretty introverted. Despite this, Im a contradiction and have friends and its always my constant goal to increase my social circle. Anyhow, I must send out a vibe that says "no no, im not interested" or something. When we go out to parties, I always assume my friends will hook up with the guy we're talking to. I act like I have a boyfriend or Im a lesbian. I mean, I must. Im also a virgin and granted Ive only made out when drunk, I take it Im probably not very good at it. Im very picky about guys and even when intoxicated, I wont hook up with a guy Im not really really into. So my point is: I hung out with this kid and liked him. I wouldnt really categorize us as friends, but Im sure we eventually will be cause hes friends with the girls on my floor aka my friends. It takes so much for me to be comfortable around a guy in the first place and just be friends, so I dont want to mess this up. Just in general, I have no idea how to flirt. I must have missed being 14, not sure why Im back to high school on this one.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): Improve the image of yourself for yourself, pamper yourself from time to time, and give yourself a break. Playing hard to get is fine but don't pretend to have a boyfriend or be a lesbian, nothing turns prospective guys off more. Find a group of kids in your field of study, study group or club that you can connect with and relax. Be confident. Approach guys directly, softly, just be friendly and then leave them wondering about you long after you are gone. It will come, but work on getting the self respect you need right now, otherwise the good thing you find will turn out to be a chore for someone if you are not happy with yourself first.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (13 October 2010):
 Picky is good, but it can also hinder you from finding some good people. It all depends on what you're picky about. A lot of people quest for perfection, and end up with nothing but disappointment. There are very few "perfect" people out there. The goal should be to find someone who is perfect for you.
Flirting isn't hard. Just smile and be attentive. If a guy starts talking to you, smile and carry on a conversation. Ultimately it doesn't matter if you're interested in the guy or not. This is because if other people see you smiling and carrying on, you'll appear more approachable. Thus, you should have more people trying to strike up a conversation. Maybe one of them will be worth your time.
As for this boy you seem to like. There is no harm in asking him out. Sometimes if the things we want aren't happening, we have to make them happen. He will likely not be turned off if you ask him out. Guys like to feel wanted too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): i'm exactly the same except im a male! i cant bring myself to flirt and im quiet so i don kno what vibe i give off! il be watching this post to see what people say, i think its definitely something we do and not necessarily who we are or how we look!
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