A
female
age
36-40,
*andlelight7
writes:i only knew my boyfriend 3 months before i moved in with he and his brother. A few weeks later my ex called and needed a place to stay because his chick broke up with him and his buddy kicked him out. i wanted to move back so bad and provide him that home, but no such luck. After i moved in with my boyfriend, i found out about my boyfriends anger problems. Ever since then it's been an up and down struggle, and our arguments have only escalated to him breaking things and the latest one was him throwing a bottle of Dr Pepper at me and a gallon of water at me. Also, he doesnt like my cats, sometimes mistreats one of them, which obviously upsets me, and he doesnt like my mother, which also upsets me. i know its not the smartest thing in the world to stay with him, but this is the only relationship ive been in where his family actually likes me. And not only that, but they have 6 chihuahuas i just cant see myself letting go so easily... it would tear me to pieces to know i could never see these babies again...Recently my ex and i (same one mentioned above) have discussed feelings for each other again (hes from 2004) and he told me that "after you break up with your boyfriend we can make each other happy"... i have wanted him back since 2004, but no such luck...i am so torn and so depressed and i do not know what to do. i need some advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Hey
Imo, you need to take an anger problem that bad seriously... he sounds like a bad piece of work and it's very likely to get worse over time. He could end up seriously hurting you or worse, it's really important you put your safety first. This guy is bad news. If you decide to stay, even for a while, make sure you have an exit plan, and keep in close touch with your friends and family. If nothing else, being around someone like that is stressful and exhausting, you are always trying to work out how to avoid setting them off, and nothing is worth it - you deserve better.
Abusers (and that is what he is) cycle between being loving and making everything alright, and ever more serious physical and/or emotional abuse. I would suggest you focus on getting away from this guy before it gets harder, and I would do all you can to keep him away from you afterwards.... Then you can start to think about your ex, and make a decision about that... But first get away from this abuser.
Good luck sweetie
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 Hi Hunny
You can not stay with an angry man and get depressed just because you get on with his family and care for the animals, Sweetheart he is mistreating you..His anger is out of control and its only been just over 3months..You need to get away from this person, He doesnt seem to like anything that has to do with you...This is not a good relationship..You are thinking of someone else as well, You really dont want to be there the only thing keeping you there is the love for the animals...Hunny I understand your a caring person but there is only so much you can do, You are in a destructive relationship that hasnt been long and he has no respect for you, Get out and get on with your life, In the long run you will realise you have done the right thing..Then and only then should you think about your ex b/f and maybe things will get better for you...TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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