A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,Long story short, this man and I have developed feelings for each other over the time-span of over one year.I've never felt this way, and I've never had a man feel this way about me simultaneously--this context is key in understanding why I'm making such a big deal out of this.We couldn't do much about our feelings due to our circumstances, so that is why we've gone this long without kissing or doing anything together--not even date.Yesterday, we shared our feelings for each other. I wasn't ready to kiss him that moment because I dreamt of the kiss happening during a moment that felt filled with a yearning for him, almost like something that reaches it's breaking point and finally snaps. THAT'S the right moment I hoped for. Instead the kiss just ended up happening because I felt nervous and unsure when the next right moment would come up or if it ever WOULD come up.It sounds silly, but after you admire and develop feelings slowly over one year AND they feel the same, you expect for that moment to be a heavenly "FINALLY!!" moment when it finally comes.The kiss wasn't bad at all, but I initiated it during a time that wasn't during a moment that I what I had imagined in my fantasies.I feel mad that I wasn't more patient in waiting for the right moment. It's not like I can have a do-over and try it again. That feeling of "FINALLY" is forever gone and cannot be replicated maybe. In that moment I feel I robbed myself through impatience. How can I change the way I perceive things in order to not have it give me so much grief? It felt very anti-climactic for the amount of time we'd been yearning for each other and feels like I'd be lucky to have that passionate love ever againI wanted that experience so I can look back on it later in life with fond memories in my heart.
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2021): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to you both for your help
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (5 July 2021):
 Sorry but, if you continue expecting life to be a perfect "first take", you are going to spend your life bitterly disappointed. Most memorable and special moments are not scripted. They just happen as they happen. There is no music playing in the background, building to a deafening climax. That is the stuff of romantic movies, not real life.
Not sure what your situation is so making an assumption that you can now move forward and have a relationship, you have all your future together to make memories. Stop dwelling on something which was not as "scripted" in your mind.
Sending best wishes. Stop overthinking it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2021): Aren't you being a bit melodramatic here? You can't plan or anticipate emotions. They happen when they happen.
You're an adult now; so it's best to bypass fantasies and daydreams. Enjoy what you have spontaneously. You don't have to script your romance; so it unfolds like a novel or a chick-flick. Leave-out all the unnecessary drama.
Special moments will continuously come and go. Enjoy things without overthinking before you mess it all up. Take a chill pill. Relax.
You have to be realistic, or you'll always be trying to "set-up" romance like a high school play. This is the real-world. Create new moments, and enjoy them as they come. Spontaneity is what makes it all special.
Plain and simple.
...............................
|
