A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is a relationship question, but, It's not a regular one. My mother passed away last year and her birth day is on Sunday, April 5th. She would have been 52 years old. I am having the worst time this weekend! I miss her soooo bad, and now, with her birthday approaching very soon, I am getting more and more and more sad/depressed! I am a male, so I have been crying, ALONE, but it is not easy hiding it. I don't want anyone close to me to know how much pain I am in, Not even My girlfriend. But, it really hurts! I miss my Mom terribly! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, jmd89 +, writes (24 January 2010):
I was missing my Mom today and saw your post. I love my Mom last February. I am a guy as well, and it is difficult I know. Because I miss my Mom so much as well. We are still going through grief and that loss is hard. One thing that helps is to look forward at times when you think things might be hard for you. Like holidays, birthdays, etc. Find a friend, girlfriend, anyone to talk with and keep busy during those times. Do something different. Also something that I have been so greateful for are those who have been there for me, when I needed. Overtime people may now know when you need them. So when you feel down and depressed and you miss your Mom, call someone and just let them know. You will be suprised in those who will be there for you. And best to try to express to yoru girlfriend as well. Remember that your Mom would not want you to be sad and unable to move on, so in honor of her find new things to do (to keep you busy) and those things will be in honor of her. All the best.
A
female
reader, Blondie_x  +, writes (8 April 2009):
Aww that is terrible :( she died so young. I think you should speak 2 ur girlfriend, dont be scared 2 show any emotion, it is perfectly normal 2 react like this! You need 2 speak w ur g/f she will make u feel better. Honestly she will defo help. Maybe speak 2 ur siblings? if u have any. This is a hard question 2 answer because there is nothing anyone can do about it. But dont hide your emotion, speak 2 the people u love, they will be there for u.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): by boyfriend of four years, well his mom died when he was five years old and he never really dealt with it…when we first started dating…like within the first few months i had him talk about her and would bring her up…one day we got really deep and he just lost it…i think that was probably the first time he had ever really given a good cry over it…at that time he was 18…he had always bottled up her death w/ feelings of anger…it didn't bother me that he was crying…everyone cries…it's only human…emotions are nothing to be ashamed of…i say you can probably talk to your girlfriend about it…it would bring you closer together…or better yet, talk to your DAD about it…bring the two of you closer together, let him know that you don't want to end up feeling these same feelings of regret w/ him one day
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you "flowerbt"
I think you are right, now one ever TRULY, gets over a bad loss like a loved one, especially a parent. I will let you know that My mother and I did not always have the same opinions, and we didn't always see eye to eye. I just wish I could see her one more time, give her a hug, and kiss her on her cheek, but you have got to cherish the relationships you have now; and bury hatchet's that you may have with people, because, no one lives forever!
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (4 April 2009):
 First off you are not alone. It hurts terribly to lose a parent at any age but to lose one at an early age is difficult. Anyone that would bash you for feeling this way is heartless an I would think no none would be that way towards you. If you are real close to your girlfriend then I think you should confide in her. This is not an "if you cry you are not a man" situation. This is the loss of a mother and even a year later is perfectly normal to feel this way. You need to confide in someone. Not just us here on dearcupid, but someone close to you that would understand.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): Emotions associated to lost and pain, is really better to be shared with those close to you, than keeping it to oneself. If you feel you may burden others with your internal rage and sadness, you will only continue to drown in your own misery. Instead of sitting in an ocean of your own tears, uncork it and allow others to embrace you.I once was in a situation a long time ago, keeping to myself, crying painfully in a locked washroom for what felt like years. When I came out of there, my face felt acidic and my heart literally twisted in ache. Then my brother came one night and as much as I wanted to keep it all in, all he did was placed his hand on my shoulder and I poured my tears out in front of him. I almost felt embarrassed, but after that, I felt that sorrow slowly and gradually dissipate as my feelings were shared with those closest to me.Counter "ALONE" with your close relationships.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): You know what honestly it want get any easier. i have learned that. i know how you are feeling. my mother passed away when i was 9 and this year will make it 18 years ago. i miss her more and more each day. i may sound crazy but i go to the cemetary and actually talk to her about different things going on in my life. I don't know who you are and i am not interest in getting involved but i really wish i could meet you and just hug you. i really understand. it is not that hard on my brothers but me i think now that i'm a mom i really miss her. i need her now and she is not here. i think the hardest days with me are her birthday, mothers day and the anniversary of her death. i really wish i could see her just one more time. my mom was 31 when she passed and i never see a day i don't think of her. im here if you ever need to just talk about her. i am a very good listener. i kinda wish i had a listener that could just here me. somedays will get better, then some will be bad. I have a pic of my mom in my purse and i talk to her every day. some people look at me crazy but you know what, they will never understand unless they live through
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