A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi dear aunts, im so sad, i miss my girlfriend too much, I love her to bits and i can not be happy anymore if im not around her. we are long distance, continents apart. we have been that way for two years now and we will finally close the distance next year whem i move to her country. i will propose her by then. i love her more every time i see her and although we have issues like any other couple, i cant see myself without her anymore. missing her this much is making me anxious, very nervous. i cant meet new people without feeling uncomfortable. im angry all the time and i cry sometimes too. my place is a mess, i havent clean it for days, i feel tired and i just want to sleep.a couple of days ago i engaged into an argument with my boss and suddenly i was on the verge of crying, i was so shocked, nothing like that have happened to me before. sometimes i get mad at my girlfriend and i dont even know why. she is sweet and kind to me. i dont know what to do anymore, i will see her next time in three months and she says, "you hang on we will be together soon" but sometimes its overwhelming and i feel like i can't take it anymore. i dont want to push her away, she is the love of my life and the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with. but all this missing her makes me feel nervous. every time she goes out.. she has a male best friend and she has always assured me i have absolutely nothing to worry about but i still feel uncomfortable and mad at her. i feel like im loosing it. i feel sad, angry and lost.
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best friend, engaged, long distance, my boss Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MSA  +, writes (2 June 2014):
 Not being able to see your girlfriend on a daily basis is probably the biggest challenge of being in a LDR. I totally understand how you feel. However, what you are doing is not healthy, for both you and your relationship. Try to do things with friends, concentrate on work, and enjoy some time to yourself. Set some time every day to talk to her on the phone and share your day.. this will reduce the 'distance'.
It's best that you get things in order before planning something with her or it might lead to bigger problems in the future.
Best of luck!
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (2 June 2014):
 Basically what I'm picking up from your post is that you're feeling a lack of trust in the relationship. You're feeling uncomfortable with her friendship with this other man, and you're not there to be able to do anything about it or at least access the situation.
If you have trust issues within your relationship, something needs to be addressed. Has she given you any indication or reason why you shouldn't trust her? What about this guy bothers you most? You should discuss with her how you're feeling and why. If you're long distance, you at least need to be able to communicate with her about how you're feeling. If you can't see each other, communication is all you have.
You also need to take your overall mental health into consideration. If this situation is causing you to have potential meltdowns, you need to determine if it's worth it to stay. Like a cost-benefit evaluation. If you are unable to function on a daily basis, then perhaps your sanity should come first? As well as your job? But I believe that if you two can work through this issue with her friend, you may be much better off. I believe this seems to be at the heart of the problem.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2014): Go... be with her.
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A
male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (2 June 2014):
 Hi,
Letting yourself go, because the woman you like isn't with you is silly. You can't fall apart at the first bit of distance.
I would urge against rushing into marrying someone, just because you think you're in this mad wonderful love. I have to say, reading your post makes me think of a fellow I was seeing a few years ago.
He got so wound up with this girl, that he stopped eating, stopped going to work unless she was around. Needles to say, he lost his job, then lost his home and ended up with health issues.
If you can't keep yourself clean, house clean etc when you are on your own, how can you expect anything good to happen?
It sounds like you need to see a counselor or psychiatrist because this kind of dependence isn't healthy.
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