A
male
age
41-50,
*ldmanfullofmemories
writes:Hello Everyone, I come across this site as I'm looking for advice. I'm now a 38 year old guy.When I was about 23 I met a girl and we just clicked straight away. We fell in love. We got engaged when we were both about 28. Planned to marry. Settle down and have a family. Then my father fell ill and passed away. Over that period we grew apart. I became distant. My Dad was my hero. Inevitably the relationship broke down and we split up. It was all very amicable. I gave up our home. I gave up on everything pretty much. Anyway, I've always said if I ever saw her again we'd most likely hug each other and pass the time of day, and I'm sure she would say the same thing. Actually she's vistited me on the odd occasion but I haven't seen her for at least 3 or 4 years now. She's married now, and has started a family. But these past few weeks I've found myself constantly thinking about her. Even to the point of dreaming about her. The truth is I've found myself really missing her. And considering we've been separated for 8 years I've never found myself feeling like this. I don't want to contact her as I respect her enough and I don't want to cause any friction between her and her husband. I know we will always care for each other, but I was just wondering if anyone has experienced this before and any advice on coping mechanisms?Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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engaged, ex girlfriend, fell in love, miss my ex, my ex, period, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2018): You have to accept that you have lost this one and find someone else you really like. You will never forget her for sure but once you are with someone else you really like you will get over your loss and learn to live with it.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (11 May 2018):
 I suspect this is a sign that you are finally ready for another relationship. You hanker after your ex because (I assume) yours was the last meaningful relationship you had. Dreaming about her happens purely because you are thinking about her so much in waking hours. I am sure you realize it doesn't actually mean anything more than that.
You obviously have strong morals as you know contacting her would not be fair. In any case, you would probably get short shrift from her as she has moved on with her life and, while you may still care for each other, her priorities now are towards her husband and child/children.
I would recommend getting out and mixing with people more so that you increase your chances of meeting someone towards whom you are attracted and with whom you can perhaps start a relationship. Perhaps you could volunteer for something about which you feel passionate (charities are always looking for volunteers) or get involved in a pastime or sport you enjoy (social cycling seems to be very popular at the moment in many areas, if you fancy a bit of gentle exercise while meeting like minded people). Once you meet someone else you care about, your ex will again become just a memory.
Be brave. Get out there. Life is for living.
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