A
female
age
30-35,
*reathexo570
writes:Okay so Im in this new relationship I really care about this guy lets call him jay, and my ex I still think about now that im a senior. I really just want to be over him like I cant help but think about him and everything we did and used to do I hate to admit it but I do..please help
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male
reader, mrmortgage +, writes (9 September 2009):
I know how you feel. By what your saying it sounds like you and your ex boyfriend were doing a little more than just holding hands. I made the same mistake when I was your age. The problem with being "intimate" with someone is that it gives you a false sense of connection.
Don't make the mistake of being "active" with someone right away. My personal belief is to wait till you get married. Get to know the person as a good friend first. The sexual attraction will always be there so that's not the question. The real question is the persons character, and integrity over time. That typically takes years not weeks to know a person that well.
I hope you understand what I'm saying, you may feel super attached to your ex because you guys were doing stuff you shouldn't of done together. If this is not the case I apologize for jumping to conclusions.
Lastly, your 18-21 years old, you have some time. Not very important to be going from relationship to relationship especially after your not over your last one. That's not fair to the new person. Take a break, figure yourself out first.
A
female
reader, luckystars88 +, writes (9 September 2009):
If you were in love with your ex you will for sure have a hard time letting go of it. Especially being young its hard to let go of someone who meant so much to you. I've been in that situation too and you have to really consider the reasons why you broke up. Some things are defiantly fixable but some are just a lost cause.. you both will grow up so so so much and some ppl are good at growing together but as ive experienced, some ppl just keep growing apart. You'll always have something in your heart for someone you've loved and its good to remember the good things about your past and not dwell on the negative but just because there are good times with someone doesnt mean that a relationship will work. Try focusing on you and your wants and needs and goals and you'll learn to see what kind of guys are really good for you and what ones arent. you can have good times and good feelings with anyone, but you have to be happy with who you are and where your life is going before you'll ever be truly happy with someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): hi
so when you miss your ex, what is it about him that you miss exactly? When I missed my ex, it would be his impulsive nature and the kind of sense of humor we shared! So, you know, try to pin point the exact feeling you miss. In my case it was having a good time, and fun! Once you locate that, it will be easier for you to focus on recreating the feeling, and not the man!
Was your ex the first real man in your life? If so, then, it's quite a common feeling! (our first love is unforgettable). You are currently in a relationship, right? Why don't you focus on this man, and all that you can have with him. Is there any point in wasting your present by mooning about your past?
How long has it been since you broke up? IF it's not too recent, then see if the two of you can stay as friends. But do it only if you just want your ex as a friend and are okay with seeing him with other women. If the thought of him makes you cry, then stay away!!!
See, it is okay to miss someone who was once close to our heart. But please, don't read too much into it. IT's just a thought. Many many of us miss our ex-boyfriends at one time or the other. Personally, I think maintaining a healthy friendship with all the ex-men in our lives helps us grow as a person, as well as provides us with immense support. See if you too can strike up a friendship with him... otherwise, just let it go. Live. Laugh. Love. Date.Flirt.Have Fun :)
Love
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