A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this has nothing to do with being boyfriend and girlfriend but I dnt knw what to do as I stopped seeing my biological father when I was 11 and am now 15 and I really do miss him. He has also got 2 of my brothers an one of my sisters living with him. I stopped seeing him because I found out he ust to hurt my mother in more ways than one such as he got someone pregnant behind her back and constantly beating her up in the past. I miss my siblings too and I want to come back into contact with them all again but I dnt want to hurt my mums feelings as she hates my father and I think I do too but I do miss him.What should I do ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MommyOfOne  +, writes (22 December 2008):
 I don't know your situation, but, this sounds somewhat like my story when I was around your age.
My parents split when I was 7, and between ages 7-14, my mother would seem hurt when I saw my father. Almost like I should be on her side, and on her team, and have nothing to do with my father. Come to find out, when I was 14, most of what my mother said about my father, wasn't true. It was as if she was brainwashing my brother and I. I ended up moving in with my father when I was 14. I think her pushing me to not see him, actually pushed me harder in his direction.
It is a very evil act to expect your child to stay away from thier other parent because of what happened during a relationship/marriage. Very damaging to the children.
See your father. See your siblings. What happened between your mom and dad has nothing to do with you. And your mother shouldn't give you hell for seeing him either.
(Sorry if I came across a little harsh. This subject hit home.)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy siblings that live my real father are my half siblings my step mum and real dad made them but I miss them like crazy anyway thanks for everything. x Merry Christmas
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 December 2008):
 Perhaps you should try to get in touch with your siblings first. I am sure that your mother misses them too, and they miss your mom.
I understand that you don't want to hurt your mom. However, it is sad that such bad things happened and the children are paying the most for it.
Perhaps if your father also went halfway and sent your siblings to your home? That way at least part of the problem would be solved. Maybe having your mom with them, all of her children, for Christmas?
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A
female
reader, mz_lani1 +, writes (22 December 2008):
 Ur mother and father are the problems, but u are not..u are able to go n see them..y not? that'll be good for u to go see them n u need to be around them for the holidays..i mean, it seems as if ur mother has got u in the mess as well but it cant be like that..if ur mom has a problem, then let her take it the way she wants..because its not fair for u to be in the middle of somethin that ur parents have a problem with..go n see them..n ur not going to hurt her feelings..she may not like it, but she cant stop u from seeing ur siblings n father..wuts wrong with that..??
tell ur mother how u feel n see wut happens from there..but i suggest u should go n spend some time with them..i mean, ur mother can hate ur father all she wants but she can not stop u from seeing him..n if u wanna b in contact with them again, then u do wuts rite for u..dont let ur mothers problem get in the way of wut u wana do..
Keep me posted n Happy Holidays..
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