A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship and have been for about a year. I've been to see her 3 times for 2 weeks at a time and she came to see me once for a month. Then recently I got back from staying with her for 3 months so despite our long distance relationship we've managed to spend about 5-6 months together out of the year. We also try to talk on the phone every day, if only for 5 minutes but on average 1-2 hours. We once spent 8 hours on the phone and we can easily go for 4 hours and the conversation never gets dull, that's how good our talks are. I would've liked to move over to be with her but immigration in the US is making that exceedingly difficult.The reason I'm writing is that after spending 3 months with her I have now been home for about 3 weeks and I miss her terribly. What makes it worse is that the situation is so bad right now that we have no way of knowing when we'll be together again. It could be 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years, we just don't know. And I miss her so much that I'm in pure agony. She occupies my mind every waking minute of the day. We still talk every day but the conversation tends to be coloured by our situation. We try to stay positive and away from the subject of our separation but it's hard sometimes.I'm lonely, depressed and constantly scared that I might lose her. Scared that she gives up on the situation, gives up on me or someone else comes along and swoops her of her feet. She's very good at consoling me and convincing me that I couldn't be replaced. She tells me that however long we'll be apart she'll always want us to be together in the end. But somehow the fear always returns, it's like I need constant consoling.Our situation is difficult for many reasons and I want to stay strong, have faith and live my life knowing that everything is going to be ok but she means so much to me it's hard not to be afraid of losing her.
View related questions:
depressed, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, endlesssong  +, writes (5 March 2007):
 While I don't think my situation is quite like yours, as a person who's also in a long distance relationship, I can understand what your going through. Its perfectly normal to miss your girlfriend as much as you do, as it is to worry that she'll find someone else. While it hurts to think about it, trust her when she says there's no possible way you can be replaced, because I'm sure she means it. I'm sure she's with you now and is willing to put up with the long distance because she loves you. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy the time you do get to spend together. Or even just talking on the phone. If its meant to be, then you'll be able to be together one day. Just be strong and have faith in both yourself and your girlfriend until then!
A
female
reader, kazz1987  +, writes (4 March 2007):
why do you have to move there? can she not come here to be with you? do you have to be the one to leave everything and everyone to be with her? i had a long distance relationship i live in the uk and my partner lived in the us and it was hard but we lasted 3 years and we only broke up because of families and things like that. i think next time you see each other (its better in person) just sit down and evaluate what you want from a relationship and from each other i know you say you love her and she is all you think about but thats not a realtionship thats an infatuation. do you want the same goals ie a family do you want to settle down with her and vice versa. its easy to get swept up in love and its so easy to fall in love with being in love, i dont pretend to be in a perfect relationship IM NOT! but think about everything before you upsticks and leave everything and everyone you know
...............................
|
