A
male
age
41-50,
*row
writes:My ex girlfriend broke up with me because she said she didn't love me. She said she wanted to be in love with me more than anything but can't. So it ended, i was devastated. Strangely so was she. I decided to date again and went on a date. She had a complete brake down. Foolishly I went to see her and slept with her. The next day it was still over. Again I was devastated. Our brake up turned into an emotional mess. We where on and off for a about 2 months. She then went to see her parents out of town. She made out with an old friend of hers. She called me hoping it was ok because technically we where now just friends with benefits. I told her it was not ok and that i didnt want to be part of the hook up scene, I told her that I loved her and that I was not ok with the situation. She blew me off. Now we talk every now and then. I's very superficial and we avoid talking about us. Last time I saw her she was very rude. She later phoned and apologized saying she was still dealing with our break up. I don't know what to do. It seems this is as hard on her as it is on me. I miss her so much and want her back. But Im lost.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): my friend i'm going through something very much like what your going through. I have been around a long long time, and there really isn't any magic wand that will solve the problem.
The hardest thing to do is remain away from her,but in my opinion that's your only chance. here i'm giving you advice that i guess i'm going to give to myself lol. not funny i know. My friend just remember this...you can only change the way you think! you can't change the way someone else thinks or feels. So do like i'm doing..it's tough..but don't call her. Eventually she will miss us..and call. When that happens..let's not spill our guts out ok? let's play it cool...and act like we have been having fun. this really attracts women...they like a guy who is strong..not a wimp!
A
male
reader, brow +, writes (9 April 2008):
brow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLike I said before these days we do not talk much. Now if we talk she will ask 3-4 times if im ok. Why does she do this. I am ok. I tell her this but she asks again and again. Is she not ok?
She asks me if we are ok as friends. I told her we where. I dont tell her it hard for me. Does she sense this or is she having a hard time?
She wants to hang out his weekend, should i see her?
Confused...I want her back, but I don't. This is weird
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A
male
reader, brow +, writes (8 April 2008):
brow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help guys
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): If you REALLY want this girl, don't let her get over you and "deal with the breakup!" Shower her with love and affection. Make her remember why she loved you in the first place? If you don't want to call and maybe give her some space, send her cards, text messages, send her flowers. Women want to be desired. Show her your desire for her. THAT is hard to turn down! If that doesn't work at some point very quickly, give up man. If she doesn't respond, it's not going to work. You should have to work *too* hard to get someone to love you.
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A
male
reader, molar305  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 You may not want to hear this, but if you want her back take a step back and walk away for a while. you need to back away from her and give her "space" to deal with the break up. the reason for this is simple. this could be a case of her not being happy and maybe not wanting you to be happy either. As long as you still talk, there will always be a lingering feeling of either resentment or hidden love. But if you don't spend time apart(meaning no communication) there will be no way of truly knowing.
who knows maybe after a month of not talking on purpose or seeing each other, she will be dying to be with you and realized the break up was for all the wrong reasons. then at that point you ask yourself if its something you want to deal with.
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