A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently met someone and we had an instant connection, although I have no idea where this will go as there is a distance factor. The problem is the guilt I'm having about something that happened between myself and this man's relative several years ago. The relative and I had talked a few times but nothing happened. Then on one occasion we kissed; the next time we saw one another, we had sex. It happened once and that was it; no feelings for the guy and I don't even know why I did it. Now I'm having major regrets and I don't know what to do. I don't know if his relative knows we've been talking, but we were all at a party recently and he and I never left each other's side the whole night. And although we weren't openly affectionate while we were there, he did have his arms around me. The party was very small, and I know his family member saw us. They saw each other the next day and nothing was said of it. Should I start things off by telling this man what happened or just say nothing at all? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I made the tough decision of ending things before they got more involved. I knew either way it was a no win situation for me and I couldn't risk causing any tension or strife between the two of them. A heartbreaking loss for me, but in the end I know I did the right thing. Thank you again
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2016): This is a potential compatibility problem with your new BF. It's not a moral problem. Nobody is wrong but this could still be a deal-breaker.
I think you need to tell your BF about your past with his relative as soon as you start feeling like it's a steady relationship. And hopefully before either of you spend much more time around this other relative.
The hookup was in your past but the guy has ended up back in your present again now. That makes it your new BF's business.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (10 July 2016):
 Id first wait to see how things progress before saying anything. When you know its heading that way, I'd be open and honest without making a big deal of it. Just as a courteous not because you feel as though you have done something wrong-You haven't. Hopefully he doesn't think nothing of it, if he does be thankful you dodged a bullet by leaving this one alone.
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