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female
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anonymous
writes:I am so confused right now, I dont know what to think or make of the situation I am. Firstly let me start by saying I am 19 years old and my bf who I have been dating for over a month now, is 24. I recently met all of his family. However I dont think it went so well. His parents barely made any attempt to talk to me, they didnt seem interested at all. At first I took this as a sign that they hated me, and part of me still feels this way, but then I started thinking maybe they didnt know how to react to me or what to say. I am the first girl my bf has ever brought home to meet his parents. And all of his siblings, they have never introduced their gfs/bfs to their parents either. So I guess it was a unusual situation for his parents. Maybe they didnt know what to do? I dont know...Apart from that, I felt really left out and just like I was weird because I am sooooo different to most of his family. His family love drinking, have a passion for eating lots of food, where as Im not a big drinker or eater. They are pretty 'out there too', in that they dont hold back what they say, this makes me feel a bit uncomfortable at times. His family seem pretty pretencious to me too. They have the big flashy cars, wear $100 000 watches etc! Expensive hair bags, clothes...everything costs them heaps. Where as I am the complete opposite, even if I had enough money to buy all those things, I wouldnt, I dont believe material products are worth that much. So I just felt so left out the whole time I was with his family because they are soo different and his parents made no attempt to really talk to me. When I was introduced to them, they just said hello and continued there conversation, so I didnt even get a chance to start a conversation with them then.The few times his parents did talk to me, it was more 'about me', to the whole group, where they in a indirect way, made me feel like I was an 'issue' as they haev ab ig family and it was hard to get everyone to travel around. Here comes another part of the problem...My bf's brother is a bit different to his family too. Hes alot like me. Quiet, reserved, interested in reading and 'nerdy' things, rather then going out drinking and partying. Hes a bit more conservative too. We have so much in common, as our personalties are similar and we have alot of the same interests. His brothers and sisters kept making picking on me in a joking way and when their parents made a few rude comments to me about me being an issue, he always stuck up for me!! My bf didnt though. So I felt quite sad, but glad his brother stuck up for me. He even offered me his jacket because I was cold. I dont really know what my question even is, I guess I just want peoples opinions on the situation. I really am dreading next time I spend time with my bfs family. I dont know how to deal with it. And I think my bf is getting jealous of how his brother acts towards me and how we get along so well. I dont know what to do about that. I really care for my bf and I like him for who he is, I would neever want to change him, and I have NO intention of getting with his brother...so I dont know how to deal with tthat sitution either. Any advice?
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female
reader, gemmaxx09  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 its never a pleasant experience meeting a bfs parents but uve only been with him a month. I wish i never met my ex's parents soo soon. You should just get to know eachother first before dealing with the families. My exs family had such professional jobs and it made me feel really small coz my family are diferent. In the end i told him i dont want to see them because they would make rude comments to me like havent you got a car coz my son keeps driving. Also at christmas i was with him 7months and they refused to let me see him at all, saying he has no commitment to me. However, i told him that he better had because there was no way they were gunna tell us that we cant. Then in the end i went to his house christmas night and his mum was like well we got to have him here hes got to see his gran. I was thinking hes seen her id never stop that i just wanted to see him after hes seen all his family and ive seen mine.Anyways, im just trying to say if you dont knw this boy very well because a month is not enough to get to know someone fully, i kno that from experience, you should leave meeting the familyy for a while. Make sure that if theres differences between you and his family that hes with you and will stick by you. Have fun with eachother first and enjoy getting to know eachother because believe me the family stuff will come and you have to be ready for it. About the brother, he could possibly just be a friend to you because you have a lot of things in common, theres nothing wrong with that. Maybe your bf was really nervous and didnt know how to react to his parents comments coz hes never been in that situation before. I can imagine my brother saying nothing and me going ohhh shut up dad because im not in the relationship. Your bf must think your very special to introduce you to his family.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Explain to your boyfriend how you felt. Maybe he doesn't realise what they're doing because they're family. Tell him you felt left out etc. and ask him for advice to get to know his parents. Well done though for trying. Try and get together when it is just his parents and not everyone else. Also, if you get his brother on side you'll feel like more of the family.
Finally just be yourself, don't lie to get them to like you, if they don't it's their loss, your bf likes you for who you are and they should appreciate that
Hope this helped
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