A
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: A couple of weeks ago my friend got me to download a dating app, I'm only 18 so I wasn't sure if I really wanted to start 'online dating', but I downloaded it anyway. One of the first guys I matched with was an 18 year old guy who was also new to to the app. We started talking and after just over a week decided to go for a drink. It went really well and he was exactly how I thought he would be maybe a little more shy. We continued to talk and met up again a week later. This time after drinks we went back to his house and at first just stayed up talking and watching a movie but ended up having sex. We ended up back on the couch and slept snuggled up together. I had to leave early the next morning, before his parents work up but when we finally parted ways he gave me a measly one handed goodbye hug and barely made eye contact as we were walking and talking. It's been two days and he hasn't contacted me (I've heard if a guy likes you he'll make an effort to speak to you) I know I can make the move but I'm really scared of being rejected by him. I was staring to like him a lot more. Should I just try and forget about him? What should I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 February 2014):
Lesson learned... he got laid... he's done probably. Yes boys/men who like a woman make an effort to be in touch...
I understand this more casual world. My generation invented the sexual revolution due to birth control pills and no STD that was incurable (back then).
BUT human nature has not changed over all these years (I just read a book by a woman who was coming of age in the 1920s and she writes about how boys just wanted ONE thing back then too).
I think to protect yourself in the future (this guy is a lost cause and you should just forget him) you need to set some guidelines for YOURSELF..
1. NO home dates for the first 3-5 dates... ONLY MEET in public places. NO necking in cars or on couches...
2. NO sex for the first xx number of dates. if you date him once a week... make it 6 dates minimum.... 2 dates a week.... I'd hold out at least a month...
3. do not be available for last minute dates. NO booty calls after 9 pm. NO "hey whatcha doin wanna hang out?" kind of stuff... it sets up a very casual feeling that will lead you to feel an intimacy that just is NOT really there.
A
female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86 +, writes (3 February 2014):
Any guy who is cool with the idea of going back his house that soon is not after a relationship. Sleeping with someone that soon is not romantic and there is no build up making it special.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (3 February 2014):
You're moving way too fast with this guy and it's not just about the sex.
You should not be hanging out at the home of someone you've just met, unless sex is what you're hoping for. If you want something more substantial then you have to be more formal with people until you really get to know them. Your dates should be in public places and when they're done, you both part ways until it's time to set up another date.
Then there are his parents to consider. They would not appreciate some stranger in their home while they were asleep. They have no idea what kind of person you are, but the fact that you agreed to sneak in and out speaks volumes. It implies that you're cheap and untrustworthy and that this guy doesn't think much of you. If he did, he would want them to think highly of you too. He certainly wouldn't expose you to the risk of being discovered and humiliated.
If I woke up to find some strange man in my home that my daughter had snuck in during the night I can tell you he'd be persona non grata.
I wouldn't invest much here. I think you've both made a very poor first impression on one another. If he does call you and you decide you want to see him again, then meet him in public and go to your own homes afterward.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): You started liking him too quickly, and you gave him sex far too soon. He got what he was looking for now he's done, and on to the next girl.
Let this be a lesson learned about having sex so soon after meeting a guy.
If he knows he can get it so soon, he doesn't have time to like you. You on the other hand are too naive and inexperienced to be dating online. There are nothing but a lot of players and sexual predators waiting for girls to come along that are easy targets.
Consider this a lesson learned. Please be careful, and always practice safe-sex. I hope you used condoms.
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