A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice here. So, I met this woman on OKCupid and we started writing to each other. I noticed that she logged in only once a week but she did respond whenever she logged in. The messages were also good. If I wrote 2 paragraphs her reply was also 2 paragraphs, if I wrote 3 she responded with 3. I then asked her out for coffee and she agreed. We fixed a date and time and I gave her my number and she gave me hers. The date was two and a half weeks ago and it went well. We had some things in common and enjoyed talking to each other. She kept complimenting me a lot. When I asked her if she liked her coffee she said ‘yes, do you want to try?’ and gave her cup to me. I wondered for a second if it was ok to drink from her cup but since she offered I went for it. She mentioned that she will be going on a trip to Canada. Towards the end of the date I said that I had a great time and would like to take her out for a second date once she returns back and she said ‘sure’. Then we hugged and parted ways.The next day I sent her a text and did not get a response. I waited for 2 days and then called her and left a voicemail and later she sent me a long text saying that she was really busy with work, guests at home, and preparing for her upcoming trip. Unfortunately that was the last time I heard from her. I sent a text couple of days later casually asking how her trip was coming along and did not get a response. Then I called her a week later (when she said she will be back from her trip) and left a voicemail and haven’t gotten a response yet. This was almost 10 days ago.I am now getting worried. She has not logged in OKCupid even once since she left for her trip... and she did not respond to my text and voicemail either. What should I do now? call her one last time? She did not look like some one that will just do the fade and disappear, so I am confused as to what might have happened.Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 Sorry but she sounds like she just didn't 'click' with you and didn't have the courage to tell you that it wasn't going to work..
Move on there are loads more women out there to chat to!
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (28 February 2016):
 I agree with the others in that it sounds like she's moved on so you should as well.
At this early stage I wouldn't even call what you had 'dating'. It's really a time to get to know people and while you seem to click online and over the phone face to face meetings can change everything. That doesn't mean there is something wrong with either of you, just that the chemistry you thought you had online didn't manifest itself in person. It happens.
Remember, OP, that people don't want to be rude or hurtful but really they don't know what to say when this happens. How do you tell someone you're just not that into them without offending them? This is especially true for women who often feel obliged to be people pleasers.
Like I said, at this early stage, it should be understood that you're both free to speak to others as well until you find someone you'd like to be serious with.
I definitely do not think you should contact her again. In fact you shouldn't have texted her after she told you she was busy with work, guests at home and the upcoming trip. Another attempt to get in touch will just leave her thinking you're desperate and pushy.
Let it go and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 February 2016):
 I think she is "ghosting" you and thus I'd consider her NOT interested.
So many people rather "ignore" instead of telling the other person, I'm no longer interested or I don't think we are a good fit". Because it's EASIER for them.
She might be on several dating sites OR she might already have found someone she feel is a better fit.
Time to move on and try again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2016): I don't know if you do this, but most people using internet dating chat/go out with several potential partners at the same time. Maybe she found someone who suited her more and then simply never logged in.The number she gave may have been a disposable one. I mean, if I opted for internet dating I would never give my real number/email. I know this is not a nice thing to do, not telling you how things are/calling you back, but sometimes even nice people do bad/stupid things. Other thing to consider is that sometimes people who use dating sites are there because they have some problems in communication (lack certain social skills, saying NO even to people they barely know may be one of them). Maybe cutting all contact was her way of saying no to you when you didn't let her be after she gave you all the excuses.Let go. Do not wait for her. Move on.
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