A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I need advice on what to do regarding someone I met. I met a guy on Twitter. We’ve been talking for a month. I’m 25 and he’s 32. He lives miles away from me but we get along really well. I’m in a relationship and he’s single. I’ve been falling out of love with my boyfriend of eight years and this new guy makes me feel better about myself. We have similar interests and career goals. He’s taken photos of himself so I know he’s a real person. While I’m hesitant about leaving my relationship, I always think about the other guy. A few things to note, my boyfriend is a great guy and I’ve known him since high school but he has different views than I do and has no career goals. I was thinking about getting to know the other guy and see if I’m just in a phase but I have very strong feelings at the moment. Should I leave my relationship? Any advice is appreciated. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, kenny  +, writes (30 July 2021):
 You need to end things with your current boyfriend, as at the moment you are essentially cheating on him. Not physically, but you are chatting to another guy that you are developing feelings for. If it was reversed you would accuse your boyfriend of cheating.
The correct thing to do here would be to end things with your boyfriend, if you don't and start things up with this new guy, get with him, then end things with your boyfriend it will be a new relationship built on lies, and these sort of relationships never work.
end things with your boyfriend, but don't rush into anything new as this will be rebound. Give yourself some you time before venturing on to anything new.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2021): Fully assess your relationship, and determine if it is by any means salvageable. Carefully weigh your pros and cons. If you've fallen out of love with your current boyfriend, it's time to let him know. Then break-up and move on.
Jumping from one relationship into another often runs into very serious complications. You haven't really allowed yourself time for emotional-detachment and the subconscious-realization and acceptance that the separation is permanent. The realization and reality will hit you like a ton of bricks. You're in a euphoric state of fantasy-love over a guy you don't really know; maybe because you're needy, and probably deficient of affection.
You can execute the physical-act of leaving somebody; but separating your heart and mind are entirely different matters. You'll run into regret and second-guessing. That's why some people go through a cycle of on-and-off relationships. Break-up and make-up; then break-up again, and then back together. Never feeling secure; and there's really no trust left between them.
Don't breakup solely on the reasoning you've met someone else; because you haven't met in-person, and you really don't know that guy. Rather than cheat psychologically behind his back; it's best to free yourself and do everything above-board. Then you can pursue other romances, without your ex's interference. It's a terrible thing to be caught cheating! Psychologically, or otherwise! Then the breakup becomes really bitter. Your ex becomes retaliatory and vengeful; meanwhile, you're trying to start-up a new romantic-relationship. You can't shed people like changing your underwear, my dear! You've got to deal with drawing the previous relationship to its final-conclusion. It's emotional, distracting, and painful. It's unfair to the third-party; whom you've drawn into a lover's-triangle, and all the drama that entails.
You seem to have put your cart before the horse. You truly know nothing of this guy, and where he's really coming from. You've based everything on chitchat. Talk is cheap, you need to meet and become acquainted in-person. Meanwhile, you're severing a past relationship that will have to undergo an emotional-process for both of you. Not to mention the tumultuous back and forth breakups create.
You're young and impulsive; and young-love tends to be tempestuous and impetuous. You can turn on a dime, and leap from one lover to another.
Bear this in-mind. Haste creates regret, and some mistakes can't be fixed.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (29 July 2021):
 Let your boyfriend go. The relationship has run its course. The new guy has just served to show you what is missing in your current relationship. There are never any guarantees with relationships but, regardless of whether anything comes of this new relationship, your current one is no longer fulfilling your needs and desires.
Finish one relationship before moving onto another. Don't hedge your bets. That is mean and unclassy. Finish kindly but firmly with your boyfriend, give yourself a breather, then see what happens.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 July 2021):
 What you are doing is called emotionally cheating. Whether you like it or not. And it's not OK.
You NEED to decide if your current relationship has a future or not. If it doesn't... END it. It's not fair for you to string along with your BF.
Secondly, NEVER jump from one guy to another. FINISH one relationship, take some time to be single and get back to "you" and figure out what the past relationship didn't work out and what YOU need to improve on FOR the next relationship, and.. what kind of guy you are really looking for.
Talking to someone on Twitter and seeing some pictures IS NOT really going to tell you what kind of guy he REALLY is and whether he would be a good fit for you.
You can't USE your BF as a security blanket while you "test out the waters" with the new guy. That is just not OK. You wouldn't want someone to USE you that way. It shows your selfishness and immaturity.
If your BF is no longer the one you want and no longer the one you can see a future with, LET HIM GO! So you can find someone who is a better fit and your BF can find someone new too.
Don't be a selfish cow.
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