A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a weird situation. I was in a good relationship with a guy before I did a play this summer. While in the play, my boyfriend and I stopped going out and I met this girl that I flirted with nonstop. (I didn't know/accept I was bi until months later... then I was too late.) We both liked each other and kissed backstage. She and I parted ways and I was in love with her still but we didn't think that we liked each other, and she and I weren't able to get a hold of each other. We both got with other people and then at one point, recently, we both saw each other again, and were overjoyed to see each other again. I finally just (last night) told her I liked her, and it is mutual... but she just asked out a guy and I'm still attached to my boyfriend (even though I broke up with him earlier and we got back together because I thought she wouldn't like me).Now I am confused because we still like each other but we aren't together and we flirt and it is just awkward. We're not gonna stop being friends however and stop seeing each other, so what do we do? I want to go out with her, but at the same time, I have loved my boyfriend equally and I can't help but feel torn between the both of them. What do I do about my dilemma? I regret not saying it to her sooner and can't get it out of my mind. I hadn't been comfortable with being bisexual so I hadn't wanted to say something because I had no clue what my parents would think or my friends. Now that I've accepted that about myself, I'm ready and did say something. Since the girl and I still like each other but are attached to others, I'm not sure where I stand and who I should be standing with... Help!Thank you for your help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (1 March 2012):
 This isn't going to be an easy decision but unfortunately you will have to make that call. If you do seriously want to try and have relationship with the other girl. I would advise you talk to her and say that if you were to break up with your boyfriend would she do the same so that you two can be together.
Otherwise you could be left in that awful position where you left what you already had and gained nothing and are subsequently left with nothing.
But there is the matter of boyfriend himself. You must decide whether it's going to last, or for how much longer at least. If you are happy with the things are right now then just stay with him and let the other girl enjoy her relationship. But if you really are contemplating a relationship with the girl then you must take a long hard think at what you want. Hope this helps,good luck and I wish you well with whatever you decide to do.
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