| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Okay, up until I was 15 I did stuff with my cousin who is also a girl and maybe I was curious but I did it A LOT. More than once. Ever since we were little but I had a messed up childhood, like I knew it was wrong but then again I definitely regretted it after and it's really gross. I would never do it again. I would rather throw up. I'm 17 now, but like when I'm around my grandmother or other people I always think about it because I regret it so much and I know there is worse things to worry about, but how do I stop thinking about it completely and move on with my life that I'm happy with now, except for this? Other girls told me to try and forget it and at least they didn't judge me. I think I was so into that growing up as a kid because my dad had movies around so I copied it growing up and yea. I'm 100 % straight though. I have nothing against people who aren't straight either. I guess I just did it because it felt good? I don't know. I knew what I was doing but maybe now I understand better. I'm not making up excuses. Please just tell me how to forget about this?
View related questions:
cousin, grandmother, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2006): I know where you're coming from. My female cousin and I
"messed around" when I was younger as well. It went on for at least five years. It is hard to forget about (and yes, thinking about it does make me ashamed as well as sad...I was too young to have been exposed to sex that early) but you will eventually. Try not to think about it. I know that it's hard..and it's usually tempting to think about things that bother you. The more time that passes, the more it will fade into the past. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2006): I had a similar experience with one of my close friends when I was younger. It's embarassing to think about, especially since his father suspected, but RJGirl is right. People make mistakes that they regret. With time, your self-doubts and concerns will clear up and while it may always be an uncomfortable memory, it will become easier to deal with in time. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2006): been there. it just takes time for it to go away more than anything else. i don't think that talking about it with your cousin is such a good idea, though. at least i didn't want to do that. i didn't want to be faced with a weird, disgusting feeling and i didn't want to have her feel that way, either - talk about awkward! on the bright side, you didn't do anything "wrong" and that's what i kept telling myself. i've actually known several other people who did things with their relatives and only time heals the feelings.
...............................
A
female
reader, P.R. Princess +, writes (11 August 2006):
 If I were in ur shoes and wanted to 4get it i would try ans stop thinking about it or tell ur cousin to let it out.but that's my opinion
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2006): You don't have to feel so ashamed for this. Everyone does things that they regret. It's a part of life. I once had a sexual escapade that I regretted terribly afterward. So to get over the guilt and shame I felt, I simply played it down in my mind. I told myself that it was no big deal and that people do stupid things when they're young. I forgot about the details. That was a big one. The details used to make my stomach turn, but since I stopped thinking about them, I can hardly recall them, and it doesn't have to fill me with a sickening shame. I just had to stop thinking about it and it eventually faded away. I don't talk about what happened, I don't write about what happened, I just let it slip into a blur of my memory. I'm not necessarily saying this is what you should do, or that's it's even all that "healthy" to do, but it's what I did, and it worked. Any time I would start to think about what happened, I would play it down in my head again. It was no big deal. It was something stupid I did when I was young. Everyone makes dumb mistakes. I can't forget what happened, but I don't dwell on it. I've gotten over it now and don't really care that much about it anymore, and it's only been a year since it happened. Again, I'm not saying that this is necessarily what you should do, but it's what I did. If I was wrong, then I hope someone has some better advice for you. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help. I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out okay for you in the end. Take care!
~RJGirl
...............................
|
