A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So, I have know my fiance for most of our lives. He's one of my best friends, but the other night I made out with this guy I've known for like 12 years (no sex, just making out). Yes, I was drinking, but I wasn't drunk. I only had one drink. I enjoyed the time I spent with him and didn't feel guilty when I left his house to pick up my fiance from work. The next morning I figured I'd start to feel guilty, but I wasn't.I love my fiance. If I didn't I wouldn't have said yes when he proposed, but why don't I feel guilty??? I haven't told him and I don't plan to because it would really hurt him. His exwife cheated on him too and he was completely devastated. I was there helping pick up the pieces. I couldn't do that to him again.I guess you could say that I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. Does this mean that I don't have a conscience? No morals? Why doesn't this bug me????
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best friend, drunk, ex-wife, fiance, his ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): You are not ready to be exclusive to your fiancee,or maybe not anyone. There's better for your fiancee and let him go so he can find it.
A
female
reader, NYCAN  +, writes (26 May 2009):
My boyfriend complains about ex who calls him all the time. This annoys me but we love ea other so much. These calls are done during the day obviously when I'm not with him. He has told her about me but she keeps on calling asking how he is etc. What must I do? Please help. MY OPINION: TO I made out with another guy but am not going to tell fiance"Make up your mind what you are doing is not fare. How would you feel if you were on his SHOES?
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (19 May 2009):
 I would suggest that you do some self evaluation, and be honest. You are immature and selfish. You made out with the guy because YOU COULD.
You will continue this behavior as well. So own what you did.
Simple as that.
Do this guy a favor,if you love him. Since you don't feel guilty anyway, just tell him so he can make the decision whether or not to kick you to the curb. He deserves to be loved and respected by an honest person. Plus he will probably thank you for giving him a snapshot of what your marriage would be like, thereby also thanking you for sparing him from making the biggest mistake of his life.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 May 2009):
 You should ask yourself why you are bent on sabotageing your upcoming marriage.
You already knew that cheating is one thing your fiancee find devastating, so why did you do it? Yes, I consider making out cheating, just for the record.
The other fact is, you do not feel guilt about your actions, that just screams to me that you don't think you did anything wrong. Never assume your fiancee won't ever know what you did and therefore it's ok.........
So what's next? Some self examination. Maybe your fiancee isn't the "right" guy for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): As you don't feel guilty, chances are it might happen again. . . How many times til you DO feel guilty? If it was just a meaningless kiss, let this slide. If it was a passionate kiss, that changes things. Do you have feelings for this other man? If so, then you need to figure out who you want - him or your fiance? If you don't have feelings for the other guy, leave it be.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 May 2009):
 The key point here is not so much telling or not telling your fiancé, but why you decided to make out with the other guy. You don't claim to have been drunk, which would be no excuse anyways; but your own statement has the value of showing that you're not giving any excuses, which is a good thing.
Why did you make out with the other guy?
If the reason is that you want "variety" or something like that, now that you will become unavailable to the rest of men, then perhaps you shouldn't marry. Because you should make yourself unavailable to everyone else from the very moment you accepted you were his girlfriend, partner, whatever, not to mention his fiancée.
How would you feel if HE didn't feel guilty for making out with someone else? But, more importantly, how would you feel if he couldn't tell you that he'll make himself unavailable to everyone else?
Don't take the man if you can't take the sacrifices being with him entails. You owe that to your fiancé.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): because you aren't that in to the person that you call you boyfriend. Instead he will fond out one day be devastated, but it is your choice...
of course you could think well i screwed up and hurt someone who loves me. but you don't. So why are you going out with the boyfriend? how long till the next time?
you have morals - but you are trying to surpress them. Are you a selfless person?
Star.x.
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