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female
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anonymous
writes: Okay, I made out with one of my oldest friend's hook up buddy. Days before, she explicitely told me not to flirt with him because she wanted to hook up with him and she thought that would be awkward. I found out he had feelings for me, so one night when we (the guy and I) were taking a walk and we were just talking, we started to make out. I told my friend and now she's hurt and she doesn't want to speak to me. She told me and others that she doesn't like that person, she only considers him an object. All my friends tell me that I'm wrong and that I've done a bad thing, but I can't see it being all that bad. If she doesn't like him, why does she care so much? I know I've done something wrong, but is everyone taking this too seriously? Am I not understanding it? I just happened to like the guy. It's hard to defend him though, because everyone thinks he's shady and his actions don't match his words. Yesterday I was talking (just talking, nothing more) and when my friends all found out, they became even more mad and worried about me. Even if nothing happens in the relationship and I just want to be friends. Nobody seems to accept that. Are they wrong or am I wrong?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2006): you're wrong. but hey, all's fair. i'd have done the same.
A
female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (2 May 2006):
 Well it seems your friend was into to the guy alot more then she put on. i understand the fact that she pissed at the fact you made out with the guy days after she just said shes into him. wouldn't you be the same. even if she does figure you forgive there gonna be some trust issues there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2006): No one is wrong, but people are hurt. Your friend is hurt because you betrayed her. She specifically asked you to stay away from that one particular guy, and you didn't. That's why she's hurt. Regardless of her feelings towards the guy, she isn't willing to share him, and she thought she had made her claim on him already. She is also probably hurt because you got to the guy first. I'd say the old rule "chicks before dicks" comes into play here. Forget the guy and get your friend back. You'll change boyfriends more often than you'll change underwear, but you're friends will be by your side the whole time, cheering for you and worrying about you and just being friends for you. Apologize to your friend and tell her it was a one-time thing that will not happen again and meant nothing and your friendship with her is way more important than making out with some guy. I hope things turn out okay. Good luck!
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