A
male
age
30-35,
*ames D
writes:Hello, I am desperate for some advice here. And im at a complete loss. Anything helps.So a few years ago I had dated a girl that I really liked, and it all worked out pretty well. Eventually, I started feeling constricted, and felt like I wasn't being fair to her(in the sence that I still had feelings for someone else, but never cheated), so we spoke to eachother and broke up after a few months of dating, and agreed that we would like to remain friends. But things began to go downhill after we broke up, we were constantly getting in fights over the phone and it seemed like we just couldn't get along. Then one day we got into a particularly hairy argument, and It got to the point where we were extremely frustrated with eachother. Finally she asked me, "what? Would you rather me just act like you don't exist?" to which I responded, "You couldn't if you tried!" and ahe hung up. Now it has been over three years sence that conversation, and not only has she not said one word to me, but she lliterally acts as If I don't exsist. For example, if I were to open a door for her, she will go out of her way to find another exit, and will silently refuse going through the door I am holding. During the first few months that this occured I found it amusing, and didn't seem to think much of it, but as time wore on, it began to eat at me. Now it seems as if it is my greatest goal in life to just have one conversation with her. It is honestly horrible and I don't know what to do. I have tried talking to her in person, calling her, texting her, everything, and it has all failed. I made a mistake, and just want to be forgiven. I honestly have tried everything to no avail. There is so much to the story that I have left out but if you would like more information, let me know and I would gladly post more. Thank you for your help, James
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): You've tried, now move, the bitch aint worth it.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 James, forgive me but...this is ridicolous and all you've got to do is to realize how ridicolous this is and move on.
You made a mistake, you did absolutely all you could to fix things : phone calls, texts, e-meils, apologies, everything. It still did not work.
Enough. You've done your part. Let it go and set better ,wiser goals in life other than forcing people to talk to you.
The girl, I agree ,is being obnoxious, immature, and stubborn - so why do you want to be like her or worse ?
She decided , misguidedly or not, to kick you out of her life- you have to respect her decision, good or bad that it may be.
Keeping pushing ,beyond a reasonable limit that you already passed, is disrespectful and surely won't put you in her good graces more than you are now !
This is the thing with mistakes- some times you can fix them and some times you cannot. When you cannot, move on and just use the experience you gained to make sure you won't repeat the same mistake in future.
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