A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I wrote here a while back now, explaining the relationship I had with my ex boyfriend. One aunt on here suggested that I make a list of the good things about my relationship and the bad things. I am going to post my list, embarrassing as it is THE BAD THINGS:He forgot my birthdays.He cheated twice.He told another woman that he wanted a relationship with her.He sent indecent pictures of himself to yet another woman.He flirts with most women he meets.He only used to see him when he could.He would break our arrangements if he got invited elsewhere.He never introduced me too his family.He never introduced me to his friends.He very rarely took me for a night out.He never paid me compliments.He would always look at other women when I was with him.He ended our relationship once and then came back.He was never in any rush to see me.He never seemed the tiniest bit sad when he had to leave.I'd pay for most things if we went out during the day like food or fees to get in places.His mobile would constantly be going and would not answer most calls, but always answered the texts.THE GOOD THINGS:?????Now the question: I'd like to ask is this, (if any of you are psychology minded), why on earth did I put up with this for two years? Before I met him I was pretty upfront with people, but with him I let him walk all over me and accepted whatever he threw.I cannot imagine getting involved with another person now. Any views?
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female
reader, Hottyy Babess. +, writes (30 January 2009):
you put up with him, because you were blinded by what you thought was love. i used to get beated by my ex, buh for some reason i still stayed with him? i knew deep down i didnt love him, in fact i loved someone else, buh that person ranaway=/.. at first when we broke up we was like ohh we are on a breakk, now we are back together, now we are on a break, and i just turned around and said naa, lets just call it a dayy yh? and he said ok thenn, buh started crying. well anyways new years eve came, and we got stuck in his town.[[he lived outta town]]. i was on the fone to my best boy mate and was in my ex's liil bro's room, who is the same age as me, he come up and strangled me for being on the fone. then when i said something to my mate, he punched me a couple of times around the face and in the headd. i thought back to all the other times he had hit me and strangled me and when he used to try and supphocate me, it took me several bruises and alot of blood to find out he wasnt worth it and to realise that in fact i didnt love him. buh never the matter, im with another boy now, and he treats me better in a month than my ex did in a year and a month. my boyfriend just so happens to be my bestest boy mate that was on the fone that night to me. give it time, trust me you will be over him veryy fast. i wish you all the best, and i hope my story might help you understand abit more.. i hope that a special person comes into your life like he did mine, and i hope he becomes your everythingg 3
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): Good lawd! Why DID you put up with such treatment for so long?!
Did you have a fear that maybe if you didn't stay with him you would never meet anyone better?
You need to set a much higher value on yourself! Self-esteem. Take a look at the qualities you value in yourself and what you have to offer in a relationship.
You deserve to have someone in your life who will like, perhaps love, and most of all, respect you, for who YOU ARE as a person. Your ex (which is why he's your ex) obviously didn't. Better to be on your own, doing the things you enjoy than to be with someone like him!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): Why did you put up with it so long? Because you were in denial, likely and unwilling to face the painful truths. Sometimes, us gals, see the bad stuff right in front of us, but we hang onto it..and just hope it turns out ok.
My advice to you is to acknowledge the fact that this relationship had been a big mistake and you need to not overlook the lessons learned, you need to believe in your future, and in how you can grow from this and just continue on happily, with your life, on your own, independently. Once you get there, you will have healed and recovered. And when that happens..you will find another person to love. But...next time you'll be a lot more selective in who he is, and how he treats you. Go for the best, hun...you deserve it.
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