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female
,
anonymous
writes: about a year ago i met a guy that i really liked. we had a relationship that lasted about 5 months but he eventually ended it by text. i have never really got over him but i wish i could as it makes me feel so down, and i have even hurt myself in the past (not seriously) i also feel really ashamed because things got quite sexual, and i was only 15 at the time. it seems to me that every time i think im over him, something happens that makes me realize otherwise. its driving me mad and these feelings are controlling my life. im stuck in a rut.
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (5 April 2006):
 Listen you have nothing to be ashamed about. OK so you were 15, things happen and hormones cannot always be controlled, if you took care then stop beating yourself up about it emotionally wise I mean.
The fact that this guy ended it via text means that he was a complete coward and he did you a favour. No real man would end a relationship that way as they would feel it is not fair. I don't know how old the guy was but you are still very young and he is not worth harming yourself in any way.
You need to talk it over with a counsellor in some way perhaps, all conversations are confidential and I am not sure who exactly would be the right person but do look into it.
You need to start living your life again and I know it must be hard but try and remove yourself from the things that remind you of him and try new things, a hobby or going somewhere new when you go out. Get your friends to support you and just stay active whatever you do. The more that you keep yourself busy the less time you have to think about him.
Just concentrate on the fact that the next guy you meet will treat you how you want to be treated and concentrate on doing nice things for you whether that is buying that top you like or nice pair of shoes or just chilling out listening to good tunes etc or downloading some off the net, whatever you enjoy do it for you.
You are what counts and don't let one short relationship control you for the rest of your life as there are much better guys just around the corner, believe me. It's not an old chestnut just don't rush yourself and enjoy some time with friends and family instead.
Good luck and there is always some one around to say hi to whenever so you are never alone OK.
BFN
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2006): Sorry to say this but this guy seems to be a bit of a weed. Ending a relationship by text!!! This is sad behaviour. I have been in your situation when i was 17 and actually allowed the guy to use me for 6 months after the relationship ended because i was so obsessed. The reason you are finding it difficult to move on is because you havent had closier. This is understandable considering you got the news on a mobile phone! You are very young so it you will meet someone else that will make you happy and treat you right but the best thing for you is to take your mind off him. Change your priorities. Take up a new hobby or project or focus more on your work or college. Do more things with friends or make some new friends for variety. Before yu know it our life will keep you so busy he will not seem so important any more and when you least expect it you will find a nice guy who will be right for you.
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