A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was in a long-distance relationship for one year and a half. In a moment of intense weakness, I entered my ex-boyfriend's facebook account. There I found some chat history between him and a girl 15 years younger than him. She seemed to be flirting with him and also telling that him loves, and even if he did not respond to that directly, he did not seem indiffernt either. This discussion dated from a period when we were not talking to each other.I felt disgusted by my behaviour (I never invaded somebody's privacy in such a rude manner) and also very insecure. I could not keep this secret to myself any longer and wrote him an email, told him the truth and also broke-up with him without any explanation. Forty day later I sent an email and appologized and told I was experiencing some difficult times when I broke-up with him and that I wanted to fix the situation, because I love him. He reacted very hurt and was very annoyed. Even if I understood he had all the right to react like that, I could not stop answering his emails in an emotional way and at some point he told me to get lost. I did not expect that from him, even if i did the same two times. My last email to him was a calm one, I said that I better give him time and space and that he should call me if he ever wants to talk to me again.We met for the first time in 2003. Despite the distance, we always ended having endless talks on the phone or on chat. I loved him for the last 9 years and never could let any other men in my heart, because he was always there.In 2010 we started to have a relationship .It was the best experience of my life and I finally experienced what it felt like to be loved and being able to love back without restrains. Since I never experienced something like that before, I called it “mature love”. From time to time, I had moments of insecurity that affected my relationship, but he always had patience with me. Well, basicly, that’s my story. I ruined the relationship with the men I love and as a "bonus", lost my dignity too.I do not know what to do about this situation. I started working on my inner issues, that I have been avoiding for such a long time. I love him and I want him back. At the same time, I keep asking myself if he he really cheated on me and if all the pain I am going through now is worth it.Please help...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 The best thing you can do is just not think about it. What's done is done. He needs to see a Psychiatrist. But he will refuse to see one if he's like most people. Most people don't want to admit they have a problem.
Maybe you should just forget about him. He sounds like a jerk.
Adios.
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