A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship with my partner for 7 yrs. It was a very rocky relationship. I loved him dearly from the start but he was extremely volatile and unpredictable and had lots of bitterness left from his past relationship. On the whole he didnt treat me to well, he was a heavy drinker and could be very nasty at times, I think he took a lot of things out on me and eventually after about 5 yrs something in me broke and I didnt love him as much anymore. It took another 2 yrs of heartache before I finally left him. Within 3 months of the split I met someone else. He was everything my ex was not. Kind, loving, gentle and I fell in love with him pretty much instantly. I was so happy for a while, then my ex got back in touch. He wanted me back, he didnt realize how much he loved me til he lost me, he had stopped drinking and had changed his ways. I met up with him for lunch and he asked me to marry him and to move in with him (a first). I must admit it was lovely to see him and I felt sad that he was so sad. This was the start of an horrendous time for me. I loved my new partner but I also realized I still loved my ex. After a few months of tooing and throwing, my ex took an overdose, my new partner tried to gas himself it was all an absolute nightmare as they both love me so much and we were all in agony. I am now back with my ex, he has so far changed and shows me lots of affection and love but I miss the other man so much and he is still begging me back and it hurts so much. I dont know who I love the most or if I just got back with my ex because he needed me.Help I am so confused!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011): have u thought bout being single and not with any of these people. move on like the others have all said on here.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011): Well you are in demand!
Its an awful dilema and if it was me I would distance myself from BOTH of these men.Start afresh - because they both sound a tad unstable to me, their attempted suicides are the wrong way a normal well adjusted male behaves when he wants to win back a woman.
Be single for a while and look at yourself, ask why you are attracting the men that behave this way.You need healthy relationships not drama.
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (16 November 2011):
 Wow! I think the first thing is that you should not have gone back to your ex. He treated you badly and after he lost you ...he decided to get his act together. I am not a believer in the fact that people change. Your new ex... he was so good to you... what happened?
You need to get your head straight. You have to stop your backwards and forwards with these men esp given that they have suicidal tendencies. It can end in disaster and you will not forgive yourself. Take a break from them both...go and visit a distant auntie... or somewhere where you can be alone and THINK! Make up your mind. Sit and talk to each of these guys after and explain your decision and then STICK TO IT! Your confusion will only prolong the pain and drama for everyone! Good luck x
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