A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm 18 and graduated high school this past spring. I am in college now, but still live in my home town because my college ran out of housing for me. I live relatively close to my high school and visit often to hang out with some of my friends who still attend that school or help around the school just because I usually don't have much work to do.Here's the thing my ex-teacher who I see quite frequently there is quite attractive. Not only that, but I'm a gay guy and he is straight, married, and has children. No, I don't want to ruin his life and try to make him get a divorce or anything close to that. He has a pretty good life and I really wish the best for him. However, recently in conversation, I admitted to him that I was gay. Not that I was attracted to him, just that I was gay. He was very accepting of this and so are most people in my life that know. (I'm pretty much out to everyone who asks, but it apparently is not obvious to all people.)I really find him attractive and continuously fantasize about him and possible scenarios of the two of us. I guess that's normal though. Recently, he asked if I wanted to get a coffee with him next week during Thanksgiving break when we were both free. He made sure that I didn't take it as an offering to "date" him, but just to talk about my time in college and if I was enjoying it. I know he's not gay, but something about our most recent conversations has been sticking with me. Here's a direct quote from him: "I'm not exactly gay, but am in full support of the people who are, like you. You're kind of inspiring." Why did he say he isn't "exactly" gay?Here's my real question, though. Does anyone think that this coffee "date" has a hidden motive? Or should I even go, even if there is no motive? I want the best for him, so me pursuing this would not be ok with me.
View related questions:
divorce, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2011): I think he could be into you, just because he's married doesn't mean he's straight but since you don't want to be a homewrecker just say no.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 This is not a date. Your former teacher might feel it is good for you to open up and talk, since you declared your sexuality, and if I am not mistaken people in your country are often quite conservative and homophobic. Which means many might assume that if you approve of homosexuality you yourself probably are a homosexual. Which explains why he wanted to tell you he isn't homosexual himself (obviously, as he is married), but that he didn't want you to feel like you couldn't talk to him about it even though.
Ask him what he meant when he said he isn't exactly gay, if you really want to know from the source itself. But I truly think all he meant is: "Im not gay, but I can still listen to you and understand you."
If you find yourself attracted to him don't go on "dates" with him, or meet him, because you are only going to add more meaning to innocent words and make yourself miserable.
...............................
|
