A
male
age
,
*ost in Atlanta
writes:Dear Cupid,I’m in a three and a half year relationship with L. We’ve both been married three times before. We met shortly after an 8 year relationship and a 4 month marriage with another woman, T. My ex was constantly flirting with other men and eventually caused us to divorce. L works for a company that relocated her to another city and I relocated shortly after. L has been here for a year and I’ve been here for 9 months. I gave up everything and moved down with a job that ended shortly after I got here. I’m now unemployed and doing a job search. L is firmly employed but works with men who live here during the week and return home to their family’s on the weekends. L has a circle of work friends but since I’m unemployed my job is to find a job and I have no social network. Recently L got involved with one of these weekday men and I found out about it through her email. The email conversations were about missing each other, getting together and exploring each other, and maintaining discretion so her coworkers won’t get suspicious. The other man is married but is perusing L aggressively and L is flattered by his attention as he is a high ranking individual with L’s company. When I confronted L about my findings she said that he was just a friend and that it was just flirtatious conversation. Seeing the email leads me to believe that an emotional affair was taking place. L said she has stopped his advances and wants to maintain the integrity of our relationship. L has blocked me from her computer so now all I can do is maintain suspicion, yet I know he’s still sending her emails. L says that she loves me but I was hurt so deeply that I can’t let go of the visions of the emails. Whenever she wants time alone, or wants to go out without me, I think she’s spending time with him. This has driven a wedge between us as I truly don’t know if I trust her. I love this woman so much yet I can’t let go of the suspicions and it’s killing the relationship. What can I do? Please help!!
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male
reader, paulomiller  +, writes (26 September 2010):
break up with her ..you can't live like that...she blocked you from her computer....come on, you can get better...there are a lot of good women out there ..you will find a good one. If she loved you she never would flirt or accept flirt from however guy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): Hi!
To be honest this is not looking good at all and I don't see a way you can fix this. Emotional affair is probably taking place or will take place. The only thing you should consider now is whether or not you are going to tolerate that behavior.
My advice is this, BREAK UP with her and don't call her. Just wait. If she loves you, she will try too contact you if not, than, I am sorry to say this but, she's gone forever whatever you do.
All the best!
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