A
female
age
36-40,
*amara Hanley
writes:Hi i was wondering if you could help me at all.Bascially, i was in a relationship with my ex partner we lived together for 5 years and then he finished things as he thought he was too tied down i was literally all over the place and it reallt crushed me he broke my heart a lot and i ended up packing my bags and leaving everything behind to start a new life in London.I have a ball at first enjoying my independence and single life i got my own place and met a new guy. We werent serious it was fun and then my ex came back and wanted to give things another go i went along with it reluctantly and before i could make my mind up my ex had moved down and things started getting serious again and i selfishly couldnt let the other guy down so i carried on seeing them both. My ex discovered this as the other guy turned out to be really BAD news, me and my ex stayed togehter and i finished things completely with the other guy, my ex moved into my place and things seemed lovely again.Then in july he left me took his stuff and moved closer to his works, started seeing other girls and ended up sleeping with someone else knowing exactly how i felt about him. I felt heartbroken again, lost my job lost my flat and ended up seriously devastated. I thought my life had come to an end. My ex rejected my calls blanked me at all costs, said horrible cruel things to me and carried on living his single life.Beinf vulnerable and weak i got the other guy involved again and i ended up having to move in with him, he literally controlled me maniuplated me and ended up throwing my things on the street one night leaving me with nowhere to go at all. He is literally mental. I went to my ex and my ex welcomed me with open arms. he let me stay with him and we seemed to be getting on great, i got my own place again around the corner from my ex and we have been starting to see each other again. the thing is we are getting on ok but my ex seems to be making out that he is "helping me out" he says he isnt interested in a relatiionship and that he isnt ready for things and our relatiosnhip is done, yet he keeps in touch with me he clearly loves me ande we are sleeping together. The thing is i love this guy dearly and want to be with him again it has been 7 years that we have been toghether and the last 2 years on and off. I dont want to be a booty call around the corner and i want some sort of exclusivity from him which he doesnt seem to want to give me. I dont want him out of my life but know something needs to be done.My friends and family say that becuase he has been hurt he is guarding himself and doesnt know what he wants. people keep saying take things slow with him and stop worrying. but i dont want to be around if he meets someone else or is out on the pull and sleeping wkith me.What do you think i should do? Speak to him (even if it scares him off?) carry on things the way they are and wait for him to open up again or just move back home up north again. I just dont know what to do about the situation and it is cracking me up i love the guy and want to be with him and he knows this but is playing it cool and friendly with him.Please help thanks for reading this to get a picture of my relationship please read my previous questions.thanks
View related questions:
booty call, crush, heartbroken, moved in, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 Stop having sex with him, he is using you as a booty call therefore you are never going to get him back, you say he loves you but none of what you wrote says that, he left you with out a care in the world as it was obvious he just did not want to be in a relationship. Then he came down to london moved in with you for a while probably so he could get sex and pretend that everything was ok. Yes he probably was hurt that you were two timing him but who wouldnt be, so then he left you again and started seeing other woman. He now makes it clear he does not want to be in a relationship with you yet you are still having sex with him. Sure yeah he will say nice things to you to get you in to bed but at least he is being honest with you and telling you he doesnt want a commitment. But you need to see this and you need to stop having sex with him, maybe move back home up north and start fresh again because this guy is just going to drag you down. He is having sex with you and he is getting what he wants but you are only having sex with him because you still love him and you are only going to keep hurting yourself.
|
