A
female
age
41-50,
*oooooconfused
writes:I am divorced and have been for about 5 years and have met some real losers but about 2 years ago a wonderful guy came into my life, we met through some mutual family friends that have known both of us since we were children, we just clicked and have been great friends every since he is still married and has been trying to get a divorce he was separated from his wife when we met. He says that he doesn't know what he would have done without me and that he is in debt to me forever but and we have been intimate and he has told me he is not ready for anything serious and doesn't know when he might be, but I can't imagine my life without him in it and that is the thing I have been divorced, dated got my heart broken and now found the perfect person but what am supposed to do?? Am I supposed to put my life on hold an wait?? Or just let him go and hope he relizes that He wants to be with me???
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 hi
no don't just 'wait around' waiting for him to give you the word. he is aware of what you want, so if he is not ready to give this to you yet, then fine, cool off and just be friends, and when i say friends i mean as EQUALS whereby it is not him doing all the taking; having his problems listened to and getting 'no strings'sex. you are not getting what you want/need out of this arrangement, but he is and that's just not fair is it? if you love his company, keep seeing him as a friend and don't make yourself exclusive to him. develop other friendships and interests too. if you have plenty going on in your life apart from him it'll help you keep the situation with him in perspective
xx
A
female
reader, shania +, writes (10 January 2011):
 I shall put it into a nutshell for you...."He's not that into you"...You have known each other for 2 years,you have been intimate with him,supported him through his marriage break up..yet he is still not sure about you.Im afraid you were like a rebound thing for him,someone to offer comfort, sex and a good listening ear,but he cannot see a future with you, so he is trying to let you down gently because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
You need to walk away from this situation otherwise you will end up feeling used and emotionally drained....Its about time you started taking care of yourself and let him get on with his situation.....your not his psychiatrist
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (10 January 2011):
I shall put it into a nutshell for you...."He's not that into you"...You have known each other for 2 years,you have been intimate with him,supported him through his marriage break up..yet he is still not sure about you.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Well if when you got with him two years ago and he was already seperated from his wife then two years is a long time to figure out what he wants. Its obvious he is scared of commiting himself to you it may be the fact that his marriage didnt work out and he was left hurt but you are not his ex wife.
I dont think it is healthy for you to keep your life on hold for him as you may end up getting more hurt than ever. You need to tell him how you feel, tell him you dont want to rush him but that you are now at the stage were you want commitment and cant keep your life on hold forever. This might be the scare he needs to come to his senses. Goodluck.
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