A
male
age
41-50,
*oon
writes:Hello, Anyone out there who can help? Recently my ex broke up with me, we had been together for 2.5 years had a great relationship. At the start she was absolutely besotted with me, and I took my time, let the relationship develop and fell in love. Now towards the end of the relationship we always spoke of getting a house together and planned this, but before this we planned to go on a trip to South Africa before settling down. 3 months ago we had a big argument broke up and decided to try as friends again and see what happened, this happened and lasted for 1 month before my ex told me she wanted me back but as I was due to go on holiday with friends was it what I wanted? I was overjoyed realising 100% what I wanted and we got back together. Went on holiday got back, spent 1 week together then she decided that she wanted to be friends again to see how things went, this lead to a bit of a heated discussion as already low didn't really need to hear this. She then broke up with me saying she didn't see the relationship lasting another 6 months and we would be back to where we were now, after lots of tears I text her she said she was sorry but did not see any future, didn't know if she still loves me. We then met for a drink and I told her how I felt and we broke on good terms which is not what I wanted but what can I do. We agreed to have no contact for a few weeks to see how things went, over the next 1.5 weeks she sent me lots of random texts about mortgages for herself, how her dog misses me when she mentions my name and so on, which made me feel worse. I decided that the pain was to unbearable and 1 week ago had a talk and asked her to drop the rest of my things off at my mothers house and pick up the rest of hers so I could cut loose and attempt to get on with my life. She then became really angry and stormed off, then text me 1 hour later apologising and didn't want to break on bad terms, she then agreed that she would drop off my stuff and collect hers over the weekend while I went to visit my freinds. Got back home on Sunday, no phone call or text and no belongings, no apology or anything, so I decided to leave it. I'm at my wits end, it's now been a week since then and never heard from her. Anyone got any advice on what she's thinking, or is she messing with my head, or what anyone thinks? Thanks a lot look forward to some replies.PS I love this girl more than anything but feel my love is wasted
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, NiX-bAbY +, writes (21 August 2007):
hi,
I think your ex isnt sure what she wants herself. That is probably why she asked for no contact. This girl knows how you feel and in all honesty i think shes keeping you hanging on a string. After all she wanted no contact but she text you and as soon as you dont play her game by you saying you want to break loose, she gets angry.
The reason for that is she felt she was losing control!
You have done the right thing by not contacting her regarding your things as you contacting her is exactly what she wanted you to do (i know from experience)
If you love this girl more than anything, then people telling you to move on etc wont help you feel better.
If i were in your position i'd arrange to meet for a drink in a few weeks times and in the meantime start to get out there and live your life more. That way you'll have time to think about what you really want and if your girl is still playing games with you then you will have had time to start getting over it!
In the meantime dont initiate contact and if she does contact you then be friendly, dont talk about getting back together straight away!If its meant to be, then it will happen.
Good luck i hope things work out for you xx
A
female
reader, Robyn1701 +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Hiya hun. I couldn't imagine how bad you feel. But you have to understand that girls are affected more by their hormones. She probably doesn't even know what she's doing! I do things like this with my boyfriend sometimes. I end up shouting and storming off but I feel so bad about it later.
What I think you should do next is to pretend when she talks to you that you aren't that bothered by her shouting and tell her that you love her and you're their for her if she needs to talk. I think maybe something is bothering her and if she can trust you she will feel safer and might tell you what's going on. Also agree to go out for a drink with a few of her friends and a few of yours and have a laugh together. Maybe then she'll realise why she fell for you in the first place.
I hope all goes well. You sound like a really nice guy so I also hope this girl isn't bad news for you. msg me if you need more help and tell me what happens! I'd love to know if you get back together.
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A
male
reader, R71 +, writes (21 August 2007):
My friend, I really feel for you. Where I am a little stumped is that after 2.5 years, you have a fight and break up. My thought is that this initial break-up was not wanted by either of you, but in doing so, a lot of the trust that had been built up over the 2 preceding years was lost.
You clearly love this girl and I think it is time for you to call her and, if you feel it, show her that you have faith in her and the relationship. Communication is everything and after this amount of time you should both know each other well enough to communicate openly and honestly.
Good luck
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