A
female
age
30-35,
*li1986
writes:Hi... I'm in a big trouble. My bf is 4 years older than me. We've been together for 4 years. Now he is doing his post graduate and he moved to a nother city.He is my whole world and i love him so much. He is also same because of that In every weekend he come and vist me. But his father dosen't like me at all because he had a problem with my dad when they were young But now my dad has passed the way. My bf is having lots of work and he didn't come to meet me untill last week Last time he came we had sex and now i found i'm pregnant. but i didn't tell him that i'm pregant because it will be a problem for him from his parents and he is so busy these days. I also have to do my college work and I have to study hard. Today also he phoned me but i didn't tell him. I don't wanna lose him. Even I didn't tell my mom. I love my baby but i can't have this baby. My bf or I don't have a job. And i want to finish my studies. Any advice please..... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 September 2011):
 It's just the reality of circumstances that's forcing you to have an abortion , not your/his parents.
You don't work, he does not work, you both want to continue your studies. Your parents can't/ won't take financial responsibility to raise your child ( and they should not be forced to do that if they don't want to, because this would be as injust and overbearing as forcing you to abort ).
In these conditions, what can you do ?... maybe give the baby up for adoption, but surely not keeping it, I guess, if nobody can afford it.
I know this is a sad and traumatizing moment for you, but please try to be rational about it. . This was a big mistake and , if they don't want to pay for the consequences of your mistakes, you can't fault them for being mean or nonsensical.
A
female
reader, Eli1986 +, writes (20 September 2011):
Eli1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks.... Today I told him. Not like me He was happy to hear that i'm pregnant. But my mom is not happy at all. She is scolding me because form the day We started this she always told " do anything but don't have sex untill you finish your studies." she is forcing me to do a abortion because this is my final year and my bf's 1st year. I know she is telling it because i'm her child. But this is my child.
And also my mom has phoned my bf's mom and dad and they came his father was so angry and he scold my bf very badly. His mom told his dad to give the permition for us to marry. He didn't tell anything and went back.
But in the evening he came with my bf and scolded us like we are the 1st couple who did this. And he told me " if u want to marry him you must do a abortion. my bf don't like me to do a abortion but even he is older he is afarid of his dad and also his dad is paying for his studies and he can't do anything.
they gave permition to marry but forcing to do a abortion what nonsens.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): I'm very sorry to hear about your dilemma. I believe you are probably doing the right thing - even though you've made a mistake you have a good head on your shoulders. If I were you, I'd think of it this way - right now, you can't provide the ideal lifestyle for your child, and every parent only wants the best for their kid right? Also, at this early stage of pregnancy, it technically isn't a person, just an embryo with potential. This is just me mind you, I'm scientifically minded that way. I would see your GP or go to a GUM clinic and seek further advice. However, if you can't bring yourself to abort it, then you could always give it up for adoption, or you could be a full time mum and return to your studies later. Good luck, I hope this has helped :) x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): First thing i need to get off my chest is that it is quite petty to hold a grudge towards a deceased person's child. Horrible of your bf's dad! I think you should talk to someone, it is not good for you to make this decision without talking to someone. The father of the child deserves to have an input, and another adult maybe your mom can also give you insight in the situation.They may not respond the way you want them to, or maybe they will react better than you hoped. But I think atleast you should tell your boyfriend, if he leaves you over this then you know the type of man he really is. All the best
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