A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice, I am the big 30 next year and I hate to say i but still a virgin. I don't get much male attention and I have never had a proper boyfriend infact I have only ever had one date and after a couple days I found out that he asked me out as a joke. Guys at my work think I'm ok good looking and say it's because I'm shy. I don't have may friends either, the last female friend said she felt sorry for me, so I lost her number on purpose. I know I'm shy and I'm not brainy I'm just dead boring someone who would like to have someone to chill out with. I don't know what to do, I still live at home (can't afford to move out) and I can't change who I am, plus I'm scared that when I do meet someone (if ever) he will think I'm weird because I'm still a virign.
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male
reader, CosmicDust +, writes (30 September 2011):
I'm a male in a similar situation and feel totally dejected by it. The first time I ended up in bed with a woman I reluctantly told her I was a virgin and it must have turned her off because her hands stopped exploring and that was that. :/ I have been in bed with other women since but could not perform due to the amount of alcohol I consumed on those occasions (story of my life). My virginity - my curse - will be gone in 20 days as I am arranging to see a prostitute next month just to get it over and done with.
Personally, I think it's easier for a woman to lose her virginity - at least in a natural way. You get to choose who you want to have sex with. It's the natural order.
I hope your first time is with someone you like.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): I still think that church is a great place to meet a partner, or someone of the opposite sex. Strongly recommend it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): You are not alone. I am in the same spot.... am 27, still a virgin and never had a real relationship. My biggest concern has always been that if i ever meet someone he will be super turned off when he finds out am still a virgin yet am old coz he would wonder why that is. Point is: you are not alone [if that helps]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): I think you need to work on becoming a bit more outgoing. I know you say you can't change who you are, but the only way you are going to meet a guy is not hiding at home but by going out there, and trying to be a little bit more confident. Ask your work friends if they can set you up with someone, or try speed dating or online dating -even if you don't get a relationship straight away, you might get to make some more friends, which will widen your social circle and enable you to have more opportunities to go to events, parties, etc, where you can meet more people. not to mention, it can help you to practice being confident, friendly, and talkative. if you are worried about being boring, why don't you do something fun and spontaneous so that you have something to talk about? it can be anything you wantas for being a virgin, don't worry about it, you don't have to tell the guy if you don't want to, there is a good chance he wont notice (speaking from experience). I'm not saying thats the best way to do it but it is an option if you are feeling worried about it.
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A
male
reader, GoodDog +, writes (19 September 2011):
 Don't be too hard on yourself!! I'm sure you've got a lot of nice qualities which you haven't told us. The men at your work think you are good looking and there's nothing wrong with being shy. The fact that you've spoken openly here also shows you have a caring side. There's no rule to say you have to lose your virginity by 30. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, there are a lot of people out there who have rushed to lose it only to be disappointed and let down afterwards.You WILL meet the right man one day, and I'm sure he won't find you weird for still being a virgin. If he loves you and cares for you he will be understanding and honoured to be with you. At least you will be able to share that important moment in your life with someone you can be sure about rather than just sleeping with someone for the sake of it.Hope this helps!
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