A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So , I may be young and naive , and people may tell me I don't know what love is yet or haven't experienced anything close to it , but how do they know , right? I have been working at a fast food place for a year or so now , part-time , while attending school. There is this guy there , let's call him.. Adam , and I honestly feel like I love him. Every time I'm around him , I get this warm , good , exciting feeling in my chest. I love the way he bites his bottom lip when we're talking, and I really do trust him. He is a few years older than me , but the way I see it is age doesn't matter. I love when I go to work , and I am working drive-thru , he'll put on a headset and talk to me while we're working. We have so much in common , it's ridiculous.., we never run out of things to talk about. The only problem is .. he has a girlfriend. People have told me time and time again , move on , find someone else , he's too old , but reality is .. I can't move on. I am too attached. I love talking to him every chance I get , and being around him is great. People have said that if he didn't have a girlfriend , we'd probably end up together. But , I hate feeling so down in the dumps , feeling like i'll never have him. And I guess my question to you is , what do I do ? I don't want to move on. Honestly.. he is one of the sweetest guys ever. He would never hurt anyone , he has a great sense of humor , he loves seeing people laugh , even at his jokes. Just to get a sense of what he's like I'll give you an example. One day I was really upset about my grandpa because he had cancer , and he wrote a note on one of the napkins saying 'Everything will be okay , don't you worry . If you ever need a friend , I will always be here for you!' and he gave me my favourite type of chocolate as well. That's the day I fell in love. So please , I am asking from the bottom of my heart what you would do in my position. He's one of my best friends , and telling him wouldn't help because he has a girlfriend. Need all the help I can get 3
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): Don't tell him anything and start keeping your distance. By seeing him all the time you're just going to fall more and more in love with him.Also, you've got to ask yourself something. Do you like him so much because you really do like him, or simply because he is unavailable to you? You might discover that when/if him and his gf break up and the way is cleared for you that you don't want him anymore. There's something exciting about forbidden love - you get to have the rush without the commitment. If I were you I'd find a way to get him off your mind. You know you can do this - you just don't want to. But do you really want to risk ending up complicating his relationship with her? You should let him be, and never make yourself available for a man who is not available for you. One thing I know about men is that they do not like that in a woman, or at least not a woman they can picture themselves with in the long term.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): "I can't move on. I am too attached""I don't want to move on"Well there's not really much people can say then is there? The only thing you can do in this case is wait for him, mope around feeling as you do now and hope eventually (maybe after many years) he becomes single again and will go out with you. In the meantime you'll have to wait in the sidelines, unless you want to risk losing your best friend.
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