A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been in the same relationship for 20 years. I was injured at work and have not been able to work for 6 months. I am on living on a very limited income and try to budget each day. My partner is careless and doesn't budget for anything not even for retirement. He has been asking me for money weekly as he works on a commission basis and runs out of money faster than he makes it. I have told him I do not want to continue to loan him money as it can create bad feelings between couples especially when the money is not paid back. I have limited myself to the point that I can't even afford to get my hair cut. My self esteem is shot. When he drives me to the bank to get more money for him I cry through the entire trip and can't talk to him as I'm afraid I will explode. I love this man but I don't like him most of the time. I can't talk to anyone because we are all connected his friends are mine and mine are his. I don't dare tell my brother or sister as they will blow up at him. I have started to medicate myself with pills and alcohol to sleep and get through my depression. I have told my doctor about it but it doesn't go anywhere. I need some feedback please.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (27 April 2010):
 Do you really love this man, or are you just afraid to strike out on your own? I suspect you once loved him, but somewhere along the way, your differences began to erode your love and was replaced by convenience and fear. You have now graduated to self punishment to avoid doing the one thing you really need to do. Break up with him and stop allowing him to use you. I seriously doubt he loves you either, he just loves the meal ticket.
A
female
reader, It's all be okay  +, writes (26 April 2010):
Oh poor you - to be treated like this by the one closest to you, at a time when things are already hard for you, and you need support, not to be taken advantage of. 1. tell your brother and sister2. do not take pills and alcohol to sleep 3. do not give him any more money 4. strongly consider leaving him - can you go and stay with your brother or sister for a while?He has to grow up. What a mean, thoughtless man to drive you to the bank while you cry, and take the little money you have, to spend on his selfish whims. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 Just say NO whenever he wants to borrow money. He might throw a tantrum but you need to be clear and honest and tell him that you have no money to loan him. You have to put your foot down and don't be a pushover just say no.
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