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male
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anonymous
writes: hi im a married man 35 year old some probs in the relationship been married for 9 years the best way i could sum up my position would be i love my wife like i love my sister not that i have one but u know what i mean. any way i had more or less convinced myself that this is just the way its going to b until we moved house back to where im from and we started going to my old local theres a waitress working there that has me going insane she would be a fair bit younger than me but just simply stunning. i have asked her out in a very drunken state and she said no hardly suprising but i cant move on i sent her flowers on valentines day but with no indication who they where from should i follow this up to see if theres a chance i honestly never thought anyone could get under my skin so much i just need to know id give up everything if i thought there was. she does know im married which in it self might be enough to put her off but i need to get some sort of closurehelp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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male
reader, lostlamb +, writes (26 February 2006):
I feel that you should never leave a partner for someone else. Any one of us in a long term relationship would love to feel the "lust" of a new relationship again. What you are feelin is a result of a weakness in your relationship. The sooner you sort out the weakness the better. You must try and sort it though and forget about what might be with this woman. If she is decent she would boot you into touch once she found out you are in a relationship.Flirting while you are not single will not get you a committed, loyal, high moral valued partner.Stop masturbating and have sex with your wife as well**last line may have been a presumption.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2006): GROW UP FOR GODS SAKE you must be having a mid life crisis
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2006): What are you thinking? You don’t jump into a new relationship just to fill up the emptiness and avoid facing the pain of divorcing your wife. Don’t fool yourself into thinking now, that just because emotionally, you’re done with the wife, all you need to do is find someone else to fill her spot. What a selfish, self centered thing to do. This not just about you.
The only way you are going to even remotely date this waitress you like...is to endure the hard painful process of 'legally' divorcing your wife, first. Divorce is hell for most people so you will need to heal from that process, first. And then-only then, you think of dating others.. as a single man. If you won't do that then... it's pretty obvious, you are simply 'lusting' after this waitress just as a 'side dish'. This what many married guys who step 'out' on their wives, forget about. I think this waitress knows this and has you all figured out...smart girl. The only closure you will ever get on this..is to give up the idea of dating the waitress while you remain married...or divorce your wife and allowing her to move on with her life and find her own happiness. good Luck.
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A
male
reader, loveable rogue +, writes (23 February 2006):
heyathis happens to any one ina relationship (although i will admit im not married) so if you dont want to take my advice thats fine. but it sounds like a crush, you've been together 9 years thats a long time. you've been wih her that long for a reason. you love her. don't throw away somthing as beautiful as a marrage for a crush. toughen up mangood luck
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