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male
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anonymous
writes: I am gay, and I have recently found out that i have a secret love for my best mate, i have become obsessed with him, and i can only think of life with him! Unfortunatley he assures me he is str8, even though he often flirts with me and chats me up.... he is also quite camp/gayish, and i cant help but think that he may be gay, and secretly we are meant to be together!Please help me, i cant go on living life.... i just cant get over him because i am always thinking he may be secretly gay:(Please reply
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): I am in love with my best mate. I came out to him and told him that I was gay a while back. He was okay with it and we are still friends. But sometime he seems that he to maybe wants to be more than friends aswell like sometimes he will lay down with me and cuddle or take a nap. But other times he will push me away when I get to "Gay" but its always different... I wish there was a simple way
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Hi!I am in the exact boat, Im in the closet, but my best friend suspects that Im gay. I secretly fancy him, and ive seen his cock, but hes quite camp. I really want to touch his cock and blow him hard.Anyway,I would make a move, so he knows about it. Like small things, like touch his hand sometimes, or flirt alot, or talk about mastrubation and gay stuff.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): Hey, I know what your going through. I love my best friend but he says he's straight. I was over at his house the other day and I woke up and I laid in bed, then he got up and looked at me ad got close, I tried to punch him and he moved away. He said he was trying to see if i was awake. I think he was trying to kiss me! Just let time do the work. Who knows?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): I have the same problem. I think my friend my be gay and I want to be with him forever. I don't have an answer, but I know what ur going through.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2006): If this is really tearing you up, taking some time to diversify your pool of friends might help. Spend some time with other people, and you may find your infatuation waning back to the old friendship levels. Never bank on anyone being gay or suddenly "turning", because the issue here is not whether he does find men attractive, but whether or not he's willing to realize or act upon it. Even if you see all the telltale "signs", if he doesn't, then it really doesn't make a difference.
For the time being he is a platonic friend and that's it. Anything else would just be a bonus.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2006): I'm totally in the exact same boat - I adore my straight mate - today for example, he surprised me while I was taking a nap, crawled into bed next to me, gave me a massage and we cuddled for a bit - he's a darling guy, ridiculously thoughtful and considerate, but he always reassures me he's straight, even without my asking - as if he recognizes himself that his actions are flirtatious.
My policy is this - make yourself available to him, but do not press him to come to any conclusions about his sexuality. Let things just happen. And don't make him feel that he has to be EITHER straight or gay - trust that he's straight, because that's what he tells you he is, and if he's potentially gay, let him find that out by falling in love with you....you know? Treat him well, and let him love you the best way he knows how, whether that will be as your best friend, or your lover.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): Hey. I had few sexual experiences with my best friend and it was strange. Especially when they are your first ever sexual experiences. It has most defintley changed our friendship now as we both could not deal mentally with what we were doing at the time. We wer around 14-15 to start with and then thinks heated up by the time we were 17 but it was all off / on. My advise is do not cross that line,no matter how much you want to, because there is no turning back when you do. Good luck!
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