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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm in love with this really great guy. I mean, he's a lot taller than me, he's smarter than me (I don't know many guys who are), he's pretty good looking, is generally a nice guy except for when he gives people a hard time, and can basicly turn me into a house-trained puppy just by walking in the room. Also he's just one year older than me. However, he's actually my second cousin. I've had feelings for him for about 2 years now, but didn't fully realize it until this last year. I mean, we have a lot in common, and I just love to be close to him. I'll see him again in about 4-5 months, I hope, and I wanna know if I should tell him or not. I posted something like this not to long ago, but then I realized people only get the great advice a few years after the post. So I'm doing this again, but with an account. Please Please help me! Writting about it won't help and I can't tell my family. But I don't know if I should tell him...Should I?-Tay
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): I have a similar story to share. I have a huge crush with my mom's second cousin ever since I am on my 5th grade and it's almost fifteen years already since I had this strange feeling. I only got the chance to see him once in two to three years in my mom's province and the excitement with the thought that I'll see him has never changed. When he is near me, I feel like I am frozen with a vein in my heart is suddenly pulled out that causes a rush in my blood stream. A natural body reaction of excitement. I have also dreamt of him several times, a sign of my strong feeling. When I was in my 5th grade, he always teased me because of my huge pair of eyes and I don't know if it's a compliment or I should get mad of him. When I turned 18, I went back to my mom's province to attend my cousin's wedding and of course that thought that I will see him again made me feel happy. The first time I saw him during the prewedding event made me feel like the world suddenly stopped and things moved slowly and on that night I saw him looking at me. An eye to eye contact that is full of admiration. On the following day, he told me that he was supposed to ask me for a dance but he is shy. (That of course gave me shiver). She also told me I am pretty and he asked for my number. And on our way back home he texted me that he misses me. That story that just happen but I have never told him I like him very very very much. When I began working in the city, that's after my graduation on college I still have this similar feeling with my cousin even if I also go out for a date with someone. I still think of him for years and I realized that life is unfair if this feeling remain in my heart without telling him that I have a crush on him and its a burden I am carrying for the rest of my life. With this, I decided to let him know about it. When we went back to the province with my mom to visit our relatives. I saw him with full of admiration. He told me I am still pretty when he was looking at my graduation pictures. But on that day, they have to attend a summer outing so I have never got that chance to talk to him. The next time we see each other, I told him I got a feeling with him for ten years already then I turned my back and I did not bother to hear his answers. The last facial expression I saw in him is that ... he is smiling. :) The last time I saw him after telling him about my feeling, I felt the magic when we were looking eye to eye. It was really one of the amazing feeling I ever had. I was very happy. It was very magical. After telling him about my feeling, we became closer to one another and I never regret that I told him what I felt. Now, I no longer dreaming of being with him. I have been prayin with God for fifteen years to give me a day with him and recently God answered my prayers. Few days ago, he texted me and he would like to see me when he will be visiting the city where I am working at. Hopefully, I am still here in the Philippines by then because my company is sending me in the US for a business trip. However, I am still looking forward of spending a day of my life with him... a very special day of my life with him...Go and tell him how you feel. Just be prepared to his answer. Remember, anything that may hurt you will make you stronger. Enjoy every moment of life.
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male
reader, Devildriver  +, writes (12 July 2009):
I'm pretty sure there is more to this story. I have one similar with a family member that I don't know how close she is cuz its the daughter of my dad's aunt, which is also my dad's aunt! Complicated! I'll just call it second cousin cuz shes only a year older than me. We're both Leos we get along just perfectly. I love how she dresses, she's drop dead gorgeous, and appearantly we both had feelings for eachother. We were too afraid to talk about it at first, but over the years it just came out. I wouldn't know what to tell you, cuz I know what I wanted in your position. I wanted her, but I'm not with her now. I'm happily with my girl and two kids for the rest of my life. But I know that somewhere deep down she could steal a peice of my heart everytime I see her. I just feel like jumping her bones, I feel like my life is exciting again. Life just didn't let it happen for me. Mattter of fact the only reason why I came accross your question was becuase I was searching for her. not to talk to her or cheat on my girl in any way but just to know that she's there... somewhere. And I haven't seen her for something like 6 or 7 years! I don't even talk to her anymore. I just think and maybe I shouldn't. This is my little thing that I like and don't like to cross my mind. Becuase i'm working on something important with someone else. All I got to say is that your feelings are natural, and that love should feel the way you feel with him.... natural.
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male
reader, Jokan +, writes (28 December 2008):
When we were younger we saw each other about once a year, we had no strong emotional relationship. We were young and in middle school and were very touchy with eachother (not sexual touching). When I was 16 my cousin called me for the first time in a long time because she was in the neighborhood with her friends and she thought she might stop by. After she left I worked up the courage to bring up the past. I sent her a text asking her if we were attracted to eachother when we were younger. She immediately said yes and we have been talking ever since. She is my dad's brother's kid's kid. It a little like 1/6 blood? We are both very sexually attracted to eachother, we've had sex once before and we don't feel ashamed at all. We are very smart to not get her pregnant and we keep it very hidden.Think about it this way. In the United States it is socially unacceptable to have multiple wives. In the 1200s however, piligimy and multiple partners was the way of life for everyone. Kings and queens mated with their families to keep blood lineage sacred.I think telling my cousin I was attracted to her was a good thing. I now have someone I can confide in. Family usually wants what is best for others, having someone you can tell your secrets and problems to can be awesome.I don't regret what I did. How can you have regret and remorse for something you meant to do? Honey, go for it, tell him you're attracted to him. Social norms may not be suitable for all because we are all different. Humans have the ability to love anyone, and what is amazing we are so afraid of showing our love that we are also the ONLY homophobic creatures on this planet. Tell him and see what happens. If it makes things worse between you two then sit down and clear the air right away, but if it makes things better and more exciting between the two of you then you will be making a great choice.Hope this helped.
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female
reader, MOTHER WAR x +, writes (14 May 2008):
 yes you should tell him,
i got a crush on my cousin to for about a year and a half, he's 21 and im 14 but after i told him, great things happened, i thought he'd get mad at me, but instead i got a kiss, not just any kiss, we made out 4 days after i told him, and we still do anything, but we keep it a secret, or we're screwed lol
but yea tell him :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): Hi.I am in the same situation, so I know exactly how you feel.I want to tell my first cousin once removed how I feel too.
From the souns of things, it doesnt sound like you see yours very often.May i ask how often you see him ?.I dont see mine very often, he used to live very close to me, but lives further away now, so it's difficult.I would just have to tell mine whenever i see him i suppose.
I also wanted to ask if you have had any other boyfriends while you have liked him aswell, or have you stayed single becasue he is the only one you want to be with ?. I have dated other guys, only short term, but to be honest, he is the one i really want to be with.I have liked mine for afew years too.
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reader, gost8 +, writes (2 March 2008):
I know this is a year after the question, but I just came across this site.
First, he is not your 2nd cousin. Most think a 2nd cousin is one of your own cousin's child. The cosin you have a crush on is your 1st cousin once removed.
A 2nd cousin is a parent's cousin.
Second, because of your age, I am most confident this is just a crush and not true love. You have a long time to go dear try not to rush your life so fast...good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): Yes. I think you should. I have a crush on my second cousin too. He's 16 and I really like him. Like you, I don't get to see him often. Maybe every 6 months. He hugs me alot and I tickle him. We have fun every time we see each other. I don't know how my family will react to this but we'll see. Hope this helps :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): I would tell him and see what he thinks. I married my second cousin and we have 2 wonderful daughters together. I also live with my parent to take care of them in thier old age. Everyone approved with us because love has brought us together and nothing could break us apart. If you love someone do what it takes to be with that person. We had many hard times and scary times for 7 years and then married for 15 years after that, I would not ever believe that we be together this long but he is my first and last lover. If we couldn't together don't know how my life would be.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): Yes, I would definitely tell him. Otherwise he will never know how you feel about him. You shouldn't keep your feelings bottled up inside. Try to get a few minutes with him alone, or if you can't, ask him to come talk to you alone when he gets a few minutes. Tell him you would like to hang out with him a lot more than you, that you really like hanging out with him, and ask him if you and him could go out and do fun things together, just you and him together, like the movies, the mall, etc.
Also, try hugging him when you see him. When you are around him, give him little love taps, like touchim him on the arm or shoulder or around his waist like you would do to other guys you like, so that he can tell that you really like him. Compliment him on his appearance. Be really nice and even flirty with him, and he will probably respond well to you. Maybe try playing little games, like tickling or playful wrestling, so you can get physically really close to him. If you get your bodies really close to each other and you can press your body against his, it will increase the chances that he will like being around you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the confidance, and advice! But a new problem has come up...I usually spend a few weeks with my Grandma and he is stating with his Grandpa (my uncle). But his dad has moved down here so he'll be staying with him and his wife now. I won't se him as much even if I do go. Which is the other problem, my aunt has Cancer and it's really bad this time, but she also takes care of my Grandparents too (Grandaddy's deaf and my Grandma is sick and almost deaf). So, my mom doesn't want us to go because of that. That means I'll only have 2 days to tell him at our family reunion. However he's always with our other cousin (my Grandmas great-nephew) and they always play video games in which I have no interest at all. And they sit there, for hours on no end! Or they play Guitar Hero, which I like but can't play/watch because it gives me a migrane! So, if that happens I'll never be able to tell him! Because we'll never be alone! Hopfully I'll be able to go though...My Grandparents enjoy seeing me and my sister. Any thoughts on what I should do if what I just said happens? THanks again!-Tay
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): I feel you should too. Just be sure of your feelings and think of how you would tell him,where you would, when you would, etc. Good Luck!!
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female
reader, EssentiallyMe +, writes (22 February 2008):
 I think yes, because you need to determine how he feels before you do anything else.
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