A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my friend. I'm 17 and he is 26. We met online 2 years back. We live in same country. I'm suffering from depression, he helped me a lot to come out of it. We used to sex chat. He told me before that he can't love me and he is not trustworthy guy but he said he cares for me and he really does care for me. After some months we stopped doing sex chat and phone sex because I was depressed it was leading us into fight and it was hurting both of us. I know that he love some other girl from his college but he never told her about his feelings. She is not in this country now she is living in Australia for her studies. Recently he is not giving me much time because of his studies and work load. Thats making me more sad coz we used to talk 24/7 last year. I know I should not expect much from him as we are not in a relationship and committed. We talked yesterday, I told him that I'm getting emotionally attached to him and my feelings for him is growing. He said he can't love me because our age gap is much (10 years) and his family will not accept this relation. He said we can be just a good friends. :( He likes to flirt with all girls he told me this before. He said he is not a good guy and he can never be a good guy. He talked to me for 4 hours to make me feel better. He told me that as he can't love me I should not expect anything more from him anything physical or anything more than friendship. I miss what we both had our sex talk , we were going to meet this year but I asked him to stop our sex chat because of my depression and horrible depressing past. I thought if I agree to do sex he will change but he didn't change he was still flirting with other girls online. I don't know how and when I fell in love with him. I really do love him. I know him from 2 years. He told me that he don't want to hurt me again by starting sex again. He said he will do it if I want him to do but he says he is sure that it will hurt me later and he don't want to be a reason for hurting me. He is planning to get married next year. I know that he doesn't love me and he will never love me. But every time we talk it hurts a lot and the truth that he can't love me makes me more depressed. Should I cut all contact with him? block him on Facebook? and move on? or should I continue talking to him as friend even if its hurting badly? I don't want to hurt him. But I don't know what to do :( Its hurting a lot and its affecting my studies :( . If its cutting the contact then should I give him reason and then break-up ( it will hurt him) or should I just block him on facebook without telling him the truth why I blocked him? Please help! :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): I have been in a similar situation as you are - although I am much older than you are. I met my friend online 10 years ago, we exchanged emails, had phone-sex and even met once (he lives 7.3000 km away from my place). The date was horrible, as we could not communicate well. Later I didn`t hear from him for 2 years. Then he suddenly reappeared. He writes to me every now and then, we sometimes chat on the phone and even have phone-sex when we feel like that. So it is O.K., basically, if you know the difference between virtual love and real love. You don`t have to block him out of your life, but you must also know that he is not part of your life. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi k_c100,Thanks for answering. Will my feelings go if I block him? I'm still confused :( I asked my friend she had feelings for his best friend and he is her friend from 7 years, they both are still friends but she said that with time her feelings started fading away and its not like she is completely over him, she still love him and it hurts sometimes but she says its better to accept him as friend if it will hurt more after breaking up. I'm not sure about me, I'm not that strong. It hurts each time I talk to him :( He is still in my facebook but I have blocked him on chat so that whenever I go online I will not see him online in chat. I hope this feelings go away, I don't want to lose him but I don't want this feelings to ruin our friendship.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 I think the best thing to do is block him and move on. Until you do that your feelings will just get stronger and stronger and it will hurt you more and more.
If you need to give him a reason, then simply say you cannot be friends with him because your feelings are too strong so you need some space to get over him.
But if I were you I would just block him and dont even tell him - that way it will be a clean break, he cant talk you out of it and you will find is easier to move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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