A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend but i hate his drink habits. I don't like drinking so we are quite opposites in this area. He used to drink 5 or 6 cans of beer a couple of years ago in the evening after work which when i asked to cut back is now down to 2 or 3 on the nights i see him - so i'm not sure what is being drunk on the nights we don't see each other. I hate that he has to drink every day. I've asked him to try and cut out and now only drink at the weekends - but even when i think about this i really don't want a boyfriend who is drinking every weekend. I certainly don't think its healthy for family life and theres times he can't pick me up cos hes been drinking. I'm not sure if its habit or if he likes the feeling of what drink does. Cos i asked him to try drinkin the non alcoholic stuff but he didn't continue with it.What can I do - he doesn't see it as a problem whilst I do? Thanks x
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007): Non-alcoholic beverages won't work as your bf does have a serious problem and it's called alcoholism. And you love this man and care enough about him to to help him change, but the only way to help is to 'insist' he changes but you can't do this on your own. You need help and he needs rehab. But...he has to admit he is an alcoholic, in order to make those changes and help himself. If I were you, I'd contact Al-anon or AA and get some information in helping you and him, cope. They will give you skills on how to help him along. Your bf has a disease...and it will get progressively worse as you both move along into a future together. Have you thought about what a future would be like with a man who is an alcoholic? If he doesn't want to make positive changes, this will lead to a very unhealthy and negative lifestyle for him (drunk driving, health problems, problems with the law) and it will just worsen. You will be dragged into this world. An alcoholic has a destiny and some sad fates in life, and none are good. They are jailtime, continued job losses, hospitals or death from the abuse of alcohol, not to mention the worry, heartache and stress for you. But you will be dragged into that and you both will suffer a living hell at one time or another, and that is not necessary. He can recover and beat this, if he wants to.Longterm dating someone has a goal for many of us..it's usually to build a good, happy life together, with a future. You won't have this if he has a drinking problem. Be strong, dear and please get in touch with the professionals (AA)...there should be one, in your neck of the woods. But move on this quickly. Good luck, dear and I wish you well.
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