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I love my long term bf...but "in love" with his friend.

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

i wonder if anyone has some advice for me i'm in a bit of a pickle i'm with my partner of 5 and a half years i love him dearly but not quite so in love anymore i see myself growing old with him but the problem is i'm in love with his best mate he is all i have looked for in a man my hole life i don't beleive in going with your partner's/ ex's friends but i can't help how i feel i haven't said anything to him about it but i think he knows i like him and he flirts with me too am i just seeing what i want to see i wonder or could it be he feels the same if anyone could have something that might help it would be much appreciated thank you for listerning

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2006):

smeedle agony auntmake a list of all the things you like and love about your partner and do the same with this other bloke, you may see there are a lot of similarities, oftern we are attracted to the same sort of person.

You need to be sure that you are not just reacting to his flirting which makes you feel special, something that is a little lacking after 5 years with your current partner maybe, we all like good attention!

Is this bloke free to be with you if that is what was to happen?

If you really are made for each other and are meant to be together then fate will bring you together and there is nothing either of you can do to avoid this, relax and just wait and see what develops you have a life time to find the right match.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2006):

stick with your bf until you really know how you feel about his friend just keep in mind that they are friends and you can really hurt your bf if you leave him for his friend. you might just be confusing lust for love. just wait it out cause if the guy is flirting with his friend's girlfriend he doesn't sound very loyal if you date him the same thing that is happening to your bf might happen to you so just be careful and i hope in the end you make the choice that is right for you and all parties involved. good luck

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A female reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2006):

xxxsoulsistaxxx agony auntI think you have to ask yourself 'am I really in love with this friend?' Sometimes, really really liking someone can make us think we really love them, but in fact we hardly know them! You may really fancy him, want to sleep with him, think he's a lovely person but do you really know him? I very mucy doubt this if you've both just flirted til now.

You say you're serious about your bf at the moment and want to be together forever so why ruin that on some guy who you may not even like when you really get to know him. This can only end in tears, I'm afraid.

Plus, his friend?! Talk about kicking a man while he's down! He'll be devastated if you leave him for his mate!! Plus, you don't even know if his mate will start seeing you if you've only just split up with his mate.

I'd say be patient and don't make any rash decisions. Over time, get to know this other guy more, find out how he feels and decide how you feel about your bf. Hope this has helped, good luck.

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