A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for eight years with a wonderful man sixteen years older than me. Before my husband, I dated one guy who was my first love. I met my current husband when I was with him. Our relationship became quite intense and I felt he was kind of obsessed with me, so I left him and married my husband. Things did not ended well. For the years I have been married, I have always wondered about my ex. My husband loves me, and he is an excellent provider, but our sex life has never been great. Not even when we where dating. My in laws are always in the way, and his brothers as well. My husband wants children, and I really don't see my self as a mother jet; In addition, we have had some financial difficulties which have created some stress between us. About a year ago, I found out my ex was getting married, and I called him to congratulate him. We had not spoken since breaking up about ten years ago. After his honeymoon, he started calling and we developed a nice friendship. Six months ago, we saw each other. I was hoping to see a friend but when I first saw him I almost melted. We continued seen each other a few more times and there was one time when I could not resist any longer and we kissed. We have seen each other, and we have had sex a few times, and it was amazing! I love my husband. He is very good to me, but I feel I am not in love with him. My ex told me we should both get a divorce and be together.... I really don't know what to do..... I love my husband, but I have always been in love with my ex. I am afraid to leave my husband and the security he gives me, and go with whom I am in love with, and does not give me any security at all. I really appreciate your advise, Amanda In Love
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Shortwife +, writes (19 January 2011):
So question, you never mentioned your husband in last statement, do you still want to be with him or are you hanging on to him as a safety net. If you talked to him would he let you see him occasionally as long as you are open about it or even a 3 way. I think you have maybe decided on your lover but are afraid of the unknown. Which is scary right. What does your lover think about the future with you? Also you might need to really look at your lover is he doing this for sex and you have brought old emotions into it or think he loves you. Really maybe he just banging you and being selfish and using you. Hope that is not the case, you sound so young and gullible I hope you look at all the circumstances. But with not lecturing you I feel you need to go away with husband talk, love, talk some more, if you want to keep him. As far as your Lover you need to Talk more than making Love to see if it Love or just convenient Sex. Good luck!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice.... I still do not know what to. I do not know exactly how is his relationship with his wife. However, I do know he really loved me when we dated, and I hope I am his true love, as I feel he is mine. I also know that our feelings are above sex. The fact that it is awesome is a plus. I love sharing time with him. He makes me feel very complete though insecure at times. I know he is a good man, and I hope his intentions are good as well. I just wish he could give me more security..... Please do not hesitate to add any other comments or suggestions,Amanda
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): forget your husband go enjoy your life have great sex with your boyfriend he sound like he is and exellent lover
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Talk to your husband ask him if he has any desires or fantasies. Don't do anything behind his back it will end things. What about a threesome. If this was me I would want my wife to see him as long as it was just sex and she gave me details. I do love my wife!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): So, let me get this correct you left the man the first time because you thought he was obsessed with you. If that truly is correct you are lucky to have a second chance. I have been with several females that thought I was obsessed with them. I was and a few I still am. I call that deap true love. Will I ever let them have a second chance NO!!I will keep my heart locked away from them forever..They have tried and tried. You should be lucky you have a second chance at true love.
I will caution you. Make sure he doesn't want to pay you back for the pain you caused him 10 years ago.
I wish you the best.
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A
male
reader, PortOr  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 Hey ... No ... sex is only a part of life. Dont leave your husband. This is basing on your own words: the amount of security you get is way higher than no security. To me its nothing wrong to be with other man. Unless you are sure of what the other guy is, why would you want to ruin your life? Also you never talked abt how his relation with his wife is. How would you know that he is not playing around with you ?
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