A
female
age
,
* cant take it anymore
writes:I have been married or over 20 years I love my husband very much. He also says he loves me. But anytime we go out with friends or just go out. He thinks he has to find another women to hang onto and follow around. He gets drunk and hugs on them. He says stuff like I think I will get a divorce and come live with you. All the time I am there watching him carry on with another woman while a sit a the table with all the other couples and ignor it. This past week end he went to far he came onto a woman when I was standing right next to him like I wasn't even there. I was so hurt and embarrased I didn't know what to do. He was pretty drunk so I didn't say anything until the next day. I Love him but I just can't take it any more. What can I do? Help
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female
reader, BeSimplyTrue +, writes (11 August 2010):
 The key in your story, for me, is the sentence "All the time I am there watching him carry on with another woman while a sit a the table with all the other couples and ignor it." Ignoring someone CAN be a good tactic, depending on a number of factors, but clearly it is NOT working in this situation. Have you tried other tactics? Also, when you're not in the moment, like later on when you're both home together and sober, have you tried talking with him about it?
A
female
reader, HonestyPays  +, writes (11 August 2010):
Tell him with that kind of behaviour it should be you tell everyone you are thinking of getting a divorce... It is totally unacceptable and must stop! Have you suggested he doesn't drink for a while? If he still does thi when soba I think you should consider very seriously about whether you want to spend another 20 years with him. You are worth more than that. Good luck and lotsa love xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Ask your self , is this love?
consuming too much alchohol and abusing it, is affecting his health and marraige.
i personally think that he needs to get help if he wants this marraige to work. i know you love him and you want to be with him but its time to put your foot on the ground and tell him he needs to get cleaned up..by going to local community center for help
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Tell him in no uncertain terms that he is to knock this nonsense off and then maybe use some positive reinforcement...do you have a caste iron frying pan by any chance? By the way he's the one who looks ridiculous, he should be embarassed, not you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): I know he shouldn't need telling, but have you told him how you feel?
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Short of divorce, I guess you could just feel bad about it and find a lover on the side.
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