A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He is 25 years old and recently he purchased his own home. His family is having a difficult time dealing with him moving on with his own life, and guilts him into spending time with them and not me. We had plans with friends recently and they caused him to have to cancel on me by guilting him about how he should just be cherishing his time with his family. They caused so much stress between our wonderful relationship that we ended up breaking up. I love him so much and still want to be with him, but I don't know how to approach talking to him about his family's intrusiveness, because he is so close to them and I don't want to make him defensive about it. How should I handle this situation, or is it a lost cause? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (6 July 2009):
I think you have to let him know it's upsetting you.
Why not just arrange something but ask him to ring his family and ask them whether he is definitely allowed to have next Saturday with you.
Tell him that you don't want to have another week looking forward to something only to be let down last minute because they say he can't spend time with you.
Don't do it in an accusing way, just ask him to ask his mum if he can have a day with you. Offer to ring her for him and ask her permission to have a weekend day with him.
He needs to realise that this is hurting you.
Either that or just start arranging everything without him and tell him there is no point inviting him as he'll have family commitments anyway.
You need to get this sorted, can you imagine having this kind of boyfriend for a long time?
I couldn't deal with this and for me it would be the kind of thing that would make me think the relationship was not going to work long term.
Good Luck!! xx
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