A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, obviously I need help.It's about my girlfriend, I am 20 almost 21 and I have been with my girlfriend now for 3 years so its quite a serious relationship, we don't live together yet as we are both students and still hve the opportunity to live with parents.To understand my problem I need to go back a bit, my girlfriend I will admit is a bit unstable or overly jealous. She gets seriously angry and upset at the slightest glance or remark at another girl, and I know gettin a little upset is normal but I mean crazy upset, but other than that for the first 2 and a half years of our relationship we were extremely close, seeing Eachother all the time, having sex at least twice when we saw Eachother, calling and messaging everyday. Then one day after 2 and a half years and a fight we had she dumped me by text message, her reason was I spoke to her poorly. I later found out that she was contacting boys behind my back by message and a 2nd Facebook account for some time, sneaking out at one point to go to the city with a boy aswell, I was deeply hurt. She then came back to me after our problems but caught her again making stories up about me to other people saying I was abusive and a stalker, she said I smashed her phone and threw rocks at her window which are all not true. We broke up after this.After a couple of weeks I chased her ad we got back together and 6Months later we are back together. She seems really happy and wants to be with me but I amDivided. I can't look at her the same and the lies make it very hard to beileve her fully again. I'm feeling very strange, I hate her and I love her at the same time, I don't want to be with her but need her in my life .... I don't want to hurt her by breaking up and I know I'll cave if I try. What can I do ? What can I start doing to fix this ? Can anyone please give me any advice as to what they would do with the information provided.
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female
reader, cornelia  +, writes (22 January 2013):
We probably feel the same in different situations though. I agree with the first answer on your question. You can't change her and 7o per cent of the time your relationship would end. Why prolong the agony and wasting time. Think about it this way and ask yourself, “am I seeing myself with this person still in this relationship 2o years from now?" remember, a relationship is consisted of two persons who is hoping for each other, has faith, and loves. A relationship is no longer good when the other person is already inconsiderate of his/her partner's feeling. There are still a lot of girls that can fit your taste or qualifications, so just look out. I hope my sayings could help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2013): There's nothing you can do OP, you're not going to break up with her because you don't have the strength and there is nothing you can do to fix this because she is who she is, she's unstable, controlling, wildly jealous and she cheats on you (chatting up other guys that way is emotional cheating OP).
The only sane and sensible thing you could do is end this poisonous on/off relationship but you don't have the strength, so you're just going to have to tolerate her until she decides she's had enough of you and moves on.
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