A
male
age
26-29,
*ake95
writes:Hi everyone, this is Jake, I am 17 years old (¡18 coming early 2013!).I practise football and music is my life.I'm new member and I registered in this page for talk with other people and try to help them. But right now, I write for telling you as I feel at this moment. And and I don't know exactly how to express my ideas.I've got a problem that I need to share, because nobody hear me or they call me crazy. You'll see, there is a girl, who is my best friend. We've been through good and bad moments. She were my light, the only reason, those days that I felt like can't go on. The relation between us always have been good: we are real friends.When I saw her for the first time, she enchanted me, and maybe she was expecting something for what I wasn't ready. Another fact was that I was really shy, and many times when I tried to tell her my feelings, I found it very difficult. You probably think: what a serious guy, isn't it? But the true is that I'm sweet,that stupid fear prevented me from telling her the way how I felt.At the end of the summer, a friend told me that this girl, who I'll call Sarah fro this moment on, was dating with a friend of mine, and my world was crushing down. First of all, because she was my first love, and all of us know that first love is hard to forget and of course, my friend's betrayal, because he already know that I loved Sara like no one does.So, the last time we saw her, I told her the truth. She wasn't surprised, but.. She prefered dating with my ex-friend. I just can't believe that. They looked so uncomfortable, always without laughing... But then, I decided to write an e-mail. Sarah answered me that she felt something for me, but was unable to find the way to break with her actual boyfriend. She told me that she didn't want to hurt me, but she truly does... And I don't know the reason why. We are so happy together... I want to stand by her side. I really love her.I've never said these stupid things, never. And now when I watch a romance film or listen to a love song, I try tocontain my tears. I don't know if I would be capable of living without her. I've think of her all the time:when I wake up, when I play the guitar, while I'm running... Can't get her over my head. This is boring, really.I hope your tips. What can I do? This seems a Hollywood drama, guys.I need some tips from all of you.Thanks for your time,Regards.Jake
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best friend, crush, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe  +, writes (28 December 2012):
 Heya Jake,
I am glad to be of help. I think its natural that you miss her because your relationship is evolving and changing but as you say try and have fun and go with the flow.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year too you too :)
A
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reader, Jake95 +, writes (26 December 2012):
Jake95 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for replying Darrell.
I don't the reason why, but your words are very wise to me, maybe because you are experienced in this complicated game of love.
The truth is I really miss her, and I didn't know how to react to this feeling, because it was the first time I felt like that.
So far, I'll try to have some fun these holidays, as you mentioned, I have to see where the life takes me, anything can happen.
Thanks for your time and your helpful advice.
Merry Christmas!
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A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (26 December 2012):
You said "Sarah answered me that she felt something for me, but was unable to find the way to break with her actual boyfriend." Now on first reading this intimates that she feels something for you that she thinks there may be something between you which is more than friends, but on the other hand, you would write it that way, because you have feelings for her, you want her to have the same ones for you. If the case is that she really wants to be with her boyfriend but doesnt want to hurt you and lose you as a friend then the answer to this is all about you moving on I am afraid. If this is the case remember this - a good true, friendship like the one you clearly have with this girl are worth a dozen relationships, they usually last longer, even for a lifetime, and also remember that such good friends do not automatically make the best relationship partners. So, if shes trying to let you down gently your not losing her, you can stand by her, support her, and be a key part of her life in a way that a boyfriend wouldnt necessarily be and in that sense you will be special to her in a way a partner wont be. However, if what your writing isnt biased and she does feel exactly as you intimate, that she does feel a relationship between you would be desirable and possible and she just cant leave her boyfriend because she is afraid (people often opt for the devil they know over the one they dont) and fears that trying a relationship with you would risk that special thing you have then the answer to this question is rather different. In my eyes, if this is the case, then the only right thing she can do is split with her BF, even if that isnt immediately to be with you because she is living something of a lie with her current partner. However, you cant make her split with her BF, if you do, the first spot of bother you have she may start to resent you and it may all go horribly wrong very quickly indeed. In this instance, you have no option but to play the waiting game, be the best friend you can, be there for her, safe in the knowledge that whatever is meant to be will be eventually. Good things, the real worthwhile things, dont just fall into our lap gratis, they have to be worked at and fought for and your patience is a test of those feelings. Try to get on with your life as best you can, distract yourself, vent your feelings to your friends who will support you when you can and see where the road takes you. It will take you to the right place eventually.
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