A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have dealt with this conundrum for about 4 months, and truthfully, I find it draining and frustrating. I broke up with my ex in January, after almost four years of joy and arguments. We were good, actually, we were great, until about 6 months before our break up... Around 5 months before this, I met a guy, who initially became my closest friend, but my feelings for him grew as my relationship fell apart. We were together for 6 months after my breakup, and so happy!! But suddenly my ex came back into the scene, and it complicated everything! I thought I still loved him (which I do), and hence, it ruined my relationship with my best friend. Although, as the last 4 months have passed, I have continued trying to sort out who I should be with. I have made many choices - for each of them. But constantly reneged. I feel that I can't lose my ex (as part of my life), I have an incredible amount of respect for him, and love him deeply (but im not sure if its a love as a 'lover' or a 'friend'). And my best friend is truly incredible. He has been amazing. And basically supported/accepted everything - even if it hasn't been in his favour. My ex loves me deeply and wants to continue our relationship. However I am skeptical as we argued a great deal, and I guess I became 'bored'.. But, its been 12 months of change! And I figure this happens to long term relationships? My best friend has been magnificent. He is such a lover. As in, gifts! romance! BUT! He's really jealous/spiteful. And it drives me crazy... But it really is just because of my indecisiveness.I love my ex. Deeply. and I also love my friend.What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 October 2009):
You have to decide between which one you want, and cut the other completely out of your life. Or, if you're not sure on both of them, maybe you should step away from them both. Someone is going to get hurt here. There's no stopping it. But if you can't make your mind up, neither man is for you.
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