A
female
age
36-40,
*oxyymama
writes:Dear Cupid,I am 23 years old, and have been dating my boyfriend for almost eight years now. We are high school sweethearts. It has been great, he is such a sweetheart and takes really good care of me. I have so many feelings for him and I am so tied to him. About 9 months ago we moved to a different state and got an apartment together. It was hard on me because I had no friends or family in the new location and we moved there because of his job. Recently I went on vacation with a girlfriend of mine and I met another guy. We hung out alot, and I felt a strong spiritual connection with him. I could just melt into his eyes, and everytime I think about him and look at his picture my heart stops beating. At the time, He was doing and saying everything I wanted to hear. Things my boyfriend does not necesarrily say to me, but I want to hear, without asking for them. When I got back home, I could not stop thinking about the new guy. We have chatted online and sent a few emails back and forth. I find myself waiting to hear from him. I know I am smarter than this, and I keep wondering how this could happen and why.?? I love my boyfriend so much, but this other guy is blowing my mind!! I feel like a love sick puppy, and kinda like a stalker because I can't stop looking him up and talking to him. Am I obsessed with him or falling in love. What is happening? This whole thing scares me because I have a great relationship already, but what could I be missing or wanting since I can't get this new guy out of my head!! Also, the new guy is 38 years old- which makes it even more interesting.Any advice or thoughts you have would be fantastic. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): "He was doing and saying everything I wanted to hear. Things my boyfriend does not necesarrily say to me, but I want to hear, without asking for them."
Sorry, but your boyfriend isn't a mind reader; if you've never mentioned these things that you'd love to hear (but haven't), he's not going to know to say them "just because". He's got NO WAY of knowing you're not satisfied - this little revelation would be quite an shocking suprise, I'm guessing. Yes, I know, so many women would like their men to "just KNOW" what to say and do, but we can't always do this. Please, do both of you a favor and Talk To Him.
Either that, or just be honest with yourself and break up with your boyfriend if you really cannot bring yourself to discuss this with him without feeling disappointed in him for 'just knowing', as this other man apparently does.
A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (12 September 2008):
 what you are feeling is the rush of excitement of someone new. it's lust and infatuation. Chemicals are going off in your brain that literally is driving you crazy.
We all get this way at the beginning of relationship.
However, if you break up with your boyfriend and start seeing this new guy, just know that the euporia will end.
Since the guy is much older, i would be very cautious.
He has more experience and you said he did and said everything right. Be very careful he might be a player and only want one thing from you.
Try thinking thing logically and not emotionally.
They always say to follow your heart, but i think following your head is the smartest thing to do. good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): You have been with your boyfriend for a long time. The exciting, passionate early stages of romance have long since passed. By contrast, this new guy gives you that rush you no doubt felt when you first got together with your first bf. If you ended up splitting with bf and started a relationship with this new guy, the same thing would happen after a while. It's pretty self-explanatory really. Today's hot new thing is tomorrow's used toilet paper. What you have with your bf has lasted so long. You clearly love him. Don't ruin it all just for a bit of a thrill. In the long term, it just isn't worth it.
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