A
female
age
30-35,
*tsamanda640
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, and i have just began to notice how clingy he is and controlling. I love him a lot and want to be with him forever, but I really just want time to be single and enjoy life since im only 18. I dont know waht to do because he will be heartbroken, and his only friends are my friends. he has isolated himself from all of his friends. We also have classes together. I need help on figuring out whether or not i should end it or just keep dealing with the clingyness. He doesn't even let me go out to dinner with my family without texting me every second wondering where i am. The other problem is that my family loves him, and he is coming to Florida with us for spring break! I'm also kind of interested in someone else.Please help me i don't know what to do anymore. Thanks!
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female
reader, lexibooke +, writes (26 June 2011):
Hey--I was wondering, how did this turn out?
I'm in about the same situation. My boyfriend isn't controlling, though. He doesn't text me endlessly or anything, but the rest of it seems about the same.
It's been almost 3 years, I love him, I would marry him if I'd met him ten years from now...but I'm only 18, and I want to experience single life, too! I'm his best friend, too--he'd be really lonely without being able to talk to me the way we do now. He has other friends, but has never been all that close to them (he tends to have close girl friends, not guy friends, but we just entered college so he doesn't know many people yet). I'm not interested in anyone else, just interested in being ABLE to be interested in someone else.
I don't agree with Bronze's answer here--I don't think you were staying out of pity. I think you loved him, but also knew there were things you were missing out on.
For now, I'm staying because I love him. I hate the feelings I get of restlessness sometimes, but I'm trying to wait it out for now. But it'd be great to know how this turned out for you? Sorry this is three years later!
A
male
reader, Bronze +, writes (4 March 2008):
You say you love him and want to be with him forever, but you also say you want to enjoy being single and that you're interested in someone else. Honestly, it sounds like you've already made up your mind. The fact that you've mentioned he's clingy and controlling are just reasons to justify ending your relationship with him.Heartbreak is an unfortunate part of love. Breaking up hurts, no matter how hard you try to make it easy on the other person. Also, you need to communicate with your family about your relationship and how it's causing problems for you. Express how you feel and what you're going through with him. In my opinion, staying with someone for the wrong reasons (pity in this case) will only make things harder in the future and may even lead to a really bitter and messy breakup in the end. You need to be honest with yourself and with your boyfriend.
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