A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've got a really great boyfriend who I love and have been with for almost 2 years now, but I've always had a secret lust for this other guy for about 4 or 5 years. He's always been really out of my league but recently I'm finding that more guys are starting to like me and this guy has been flirting with me loads. I love my boyfriend to bits and I don't want to cheat on him but I can't help this overwhelming sense that I owe it to myself! I know that sounds stupid. I get so turned on when I think about even kissing him also. I know that if he came on to me, I wouldn't be able to resist. Do you think it's wrong to have a one night stand? Nobody would ever find out about it only I'd have to live with the guilt. I'm going away to uni soon anyway so me and my bf will probably hit hard times, and I'm young and haven't been with anyone else the whole time I've had him. It's not unusual for people to cheat but I know I'd feel awful. AHHHH I don't know what to do!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LandonM  +, writes (11 December 2007):
I know you want me to tell you "Hey, it's ok. Just don't tell him". But this is premaditated, you know? Sorry. Next time, just jump the gun and deal with the problem later. If you stopped and thought about it, then you know it is wrong and you have premaditated to hurt someone.
The answer is, understand what you are realy feeling. If it is fascination at the thought of feeling attractive, talk to your man and say "I don't feel attractive around you because..". If he sucks in bed, tell him "I love you so much, I am not going to leave you, but I have dissatisfaction with you in bed. Let's work it out".
Open communication is the key. The guy is waiting for your feedback. I know a women's heart is an ocean of secrets. But either you leave him now or you owe it to him to talk about the above I mentioned.
Good luck and sorry I don't have the answer you hoped for. But this IS the answer to your question. I promise
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 December 2007):
 Your right, people do cheat. Those who do generally have a low self esteem, low self respect, and lack of respect for the person they are with. It's wrong to have a one night stand while you're with someone. I think if you follow your feelings of lust, you need to first end your relationship with your boyfriend. That may hurt him, but it's more fair than being with someone else during the relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): DO NOT CHEAT! If you want to be with someone else, you need to let your boyfriend go. How would you feel if he cheated?
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